Young men, marriage is a great thing, but also one that requires our utmost. It's a commitment that demands all that we can give, until the day we meet our Maker. It's a wonderful thing, but only if we follow God's design for it.
That said, I want to encourage all the young men out there who are looking for a wife. I am writing to you as a happy man, married to the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world. If you'd be so kind as to allow me to share something with you, I hope to bless you.
Advice for young men
Guys, marriage is something that will take everything you have, and will reward you with more than what you have ever dreamed of - if you follow hard after God. He created marriage with the noblest of purposes, designed it with the most attention to detail, and blessed it with His love. Your future marriages, if done according to His plans, will be the most beautiful relationships you'll ever have.
That said, I have a few pieces of advice for you - treat these as words of wisdom from a brother who wants you to enjoy your marriages as much as he enjoys his.
1) Pray hard
Guys, remember that as you are looking and hoping to marry the right woman, God knows the best for you. He wants to be involved in your journey from singlehood to marriage. In fact, He was involved in your life even before you were born, and will always want to be involved in all the details until the day you die.
Don't be ashamed to ask God for the right woman to marry. As there's only one right woman for you but many wrong women, don't go off searching for a wife without asking God to lead you.
God-fearing men should desire to marry God-fearing women. How can a young man know who's the woman who truly fears God except by asking God Himself?
Don't worry. Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you (see 1 Peter 5:7).
2) Work hard
Next, realize that you need to work at many things before you marry. While many singles work hard to earn enough money to be able to support a wife and a future family, finances aren't the only things that require attention and effort.
You've got to work hard on yourself. How's your relationship with and obedience to God? How are your attitudes toward life and work? Will you honestly be able to leave your parents' home, and be totally independent from them when you marry?
Can you deny yourself in order to love your future wife? Will you be able to exercise self-control and wield much patience when you live with a person so different from you - for the rest of your life?
Guys, marriage is not just about marching to the altar, wearing fancy gold rings, saying "I do," and driving off to the sunset in a car that say "just married" on the back. It's a lifetime of self-denial and intentional love. Just think about what Ephesians 5:25 tells all husbands:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."
3) Love hard
Lastly, if you're serious and decided that you're going to marry, then marry your future wife unto God. In other words, love your future spouse with the intention of pleasing God.
There's more to the passage where Ephesians 5:25 belongs to. Let's read it in context:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." (Ephesians 5:25-29)
Christ's love for all of us, as demonstrated in His agony and death, is actually His obedience to the Father's will. Jesus said in John 6:40 that the Father wants "that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day."
Christ's love for God was so much that He died fulfilling His will. And what was that will? That we would be saved through His death and resurrection.
In the same way, guys, realize that it's God's will for all husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. When we love our wives that way, we please God while filling up our respective wife's so-called "love tank."
Guys, love God above all. Whether single or married, let God be the ultimate object of your affection and love. When the time comes for you to marry, your love for Him will help you love your future wife, till death do you part.
