Marriage is a journey that two people, a man and a woman, go through together for the rest of their lives. And just like any journey that has two people necessarily involved in it, the husband and the wife should both learn to listen to each other, and consider each other's opinions, views, longings, and dreams.
Crucial Matter
Listening is a skill that needs to be developed. I admit that I'm not that good at this, but I'm willing to learn, grow, and improve on it. Why? Because's it's very important to my marriage.
There's a commonly known idea that God gave man two ears and one mouth, which signifies that all of us should learn to listen more and talk less.
James 1:19 even tells us to "let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." Yes, we're all told to master the art of listening.
Listening to Your Spouse
This brings me to the importance of listening in marriage. Many of us think we're great marriage partners, because we're working hard for the marriage:
- We work full-time jobs so that we could pay for all our spouses' needs;
- We work harder to earn more so that we could buy what our spouses want;
- We try our best to doing the chores and laundry, even if we're tired from work; and
- We do our best to prioritise our spouses' needs more than we do our own needs.
One thing that we miss, however, is the seemingly undervalued but totally important habit of listening to our spouses. Many of us tend to magnify the big things that we do for our marriages but forget this simple thing that has always been a major source of marriage conflict — or a major way to achieve marriage bliss.
Listening to your spouse does more than just listening:
- It helps you understand your spouse's thoughts, desires, dreams, and everything they can say about themselves;
- It tells your spouse that they matter to you, because you take time and give effort to listen and understand; and
- It helps you develop a more intimate relationship with your spouse.
Work At Listening Well
Friend, I encourage you to work on listening to your spouse. God gave you a spouse for a reason, and that is to pursue Him. Listen to your spouse's requests. Be sensitive to their needs. Offer your undivided attention, and listen to them. You just might be surprised at the great things you will discover.
"As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." — Ephesians 5:31-33
