Looking for a spouse: it's ok to date, just don't date everyone in your church

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It's common in today's culture that single men and women will be dating around looking for what they call "the right one." For us Christians, we should know better: We have a God who knows who is best for us, and that it's never right to go around and date everybody in the church.

Are you single and looking for that perfect partner for the rest of your life? Here are some things that you should remember:

1) God made only one Eve for Adam

In Genesis 2, we find that God was the One who made a partner "suitable" for Adam (see Gen. 2:18). God could have made more than one, but He didn't. He made only one woman, and her name was Eve.

"But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man." (Genesis 2:20-22)

By this, we should know that our focus and attention should be given only to one spouse, the one God gives to us as we focus on Him.  When we remember that, it should make us more cautious when it comes to who we allow ourselves to enter into a courtship with or even go on a date with.  We should be giving it careful, prayerful consideration every time because we are not searching for who we like, we are searching for who God has already prepared for us.

2) God has a partner specific for a person

We read in that passage that God took one of Adam's ribs and fashioned it into Eve. By this, we can also see that there's only one specific person for each person, and God knows who that person is!

This should bring hope to all the single men and women out there! Take Isaac and Rebekah, for example. When you read Genesis chapter 24, you'll find an extraordinary love story that only God could set up: Abraham was growing old and wanted his son Isaac to have a wife from his homeland, and he sent his senior servant on a journey there to look for a bride for Isaac. Upon his arrival, the servant prayed to the God of Abraham for help, and wonder of wonders, a woman appeared and did all the signs that the servant asked for. God answered his prayers indeed.

More than that, the servant also realized that the woman was according to how Abraham described she would be. Elated, the servant asked the woman if she wants to come and marry his master's son (Isaac). The woman, Rebekah, responded yes and became Isaac's wife.

God was and is happy to take part in establishing marriages. He was the One who instituted marriage, and will always be glad to take part in it every time He is invited.

So yes, there is hope single people.  But again, God already has one person in mind for you.  Long before we are even setting our eyes on someone to date, we need to be setting our eyes on the Lord and seeking Him in prayer regarding our future spouse.  Then we meet someone we think could be the one God has intended for us, we shouldn't just rush into a date.  We need to earnestly pray to God about that person first and only if we feel sure after prayer that it is pleasing to God, should we proceed.  If we don't feel it is pleasing to God, no matter how hard it may be, we need to walk away and leave that person for who they are really intended for. 

3) Stop dating the church

There goes a book by that title, but that's not the topic. Single men and women in church should not just date anybody they find and, more importantly, anybody they like.  Like is not the same as godly love.  Instead they should focus on growing their relationship with the Lord.  And when someone comes along, we need to prayerfully consider whether this person enhances our relationship with the Lord or takes us further away and equally whether we love them for their personal relationship with the Lord.   How's their faith life?  How's their relationship with the Lord?  Do they even have one?  Do you see any fruit of the Spirit in their life?  These are all important questions to consider.  At the end of the day, we can only get God's best when we are focused on Him and not focused on pursuit of the right partner.