Christian men who date and marry outside the church explain why they chose an unbeliever over a believer

(Unsplash/Michael Negrete)

Christians disagree on all kinds of things but there's one thing that most Christians do agree on and that's that they should marry other Christians. 

Marrying a non-believer remains a taboo in the church, largely thanks to the verse in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that says: 'Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.' 

Even if this verse doesn't exist, believers would still appreciate the many practical advantages of being yoked with a fellow believer, like being able to go to church together, pray together, read the Bible together.  In other words, live out their faith together.

For that reason, many Christians look for a spouse within the church.  And when they don't, it comes as something of a shock for their fellow believers. 

So just why would a Christian look outside the church for their life partner when they could find someone inside the church?  That's the interesting question put forward by Judi Mason at Black And Married With Kids.  She got a ton of responses and some of them are not easy for the church - or church women - to hear. 

Here are some of them below: 

(Unsplash/Sweet Icecream Photography)

Too Sanctimonious. 

Ouch! This is a tough one for us women to swallow but it's only right we hear them out.  Some men said there is only one God in their life and they didn't want or need the woman they marry acting like a second God.  They feared a Christian woman would only end up judging them or even worse than that, badgering them to constantly raise their spiritual standards as if they weren't good enough.

(Unsplash/Clem Onojeghuo)

Not submissive. 

Here's another tough one for Christian women to digest as it's the bedrock of Christian teaching on what it means to be a good wife.  But some say they didn't see any submission during the dating stage, so what were the chances that these women were going to be submissive wives?  

(Unsplash/Corinne Kutz)

Not feminine enough.

Yikes! These men felt that women have lost their feminity and are no longer soft, friendly and fun loving - some of the most attractive qualities to a man. 

(Photo: Unsplash/Syd Wachs)

Unrealistic expectations

These men felt that some Christian women's expectations about the men they marry are so lofty that they are completely unrealistic.  Their perception of what Christian women want is: if their husband isn't a perfect replica of Jesus, then he should at least be like their pastor.  But these men, at least, just want room to make mistakes and be human. 

To read more intriguing reasons as to why some Christian men date and marry outside the church, click here.

(Photo: Unsplash/Naassom Azevedo)