3 ways Christian women can help Christian men stay pure in today's sexualized world

(Photo: Unsplash/William Recinos)

Today's sexualized world presents so many temptations to Christian men, even those whom you think are invulnerable to it. It's in the movies, in the TV shows, even in the malls.

Not very long ago, I watched a short but heartfelt video in which Christian men appreciated and expressed sincere gratitude to Christian women who dress modestly. While the video wasn't warmly received by many, especially women who think of men as perverts who can't see beyond the body, I'd like to make a very personal but special appeal to my sisters in the Lord:

You can and should help your brothers (and husbands) win this fight.

How Christian women can help Christian men in the area of purity

Ladies, here are some ways you can help men in the fight of faith, particularly in the area of purity.

1) Realize your brothers are in sin, and pray for them

Instead of bashing a brother for lustfully looking at a woman or making fun of his struggles, why not realize the fact that he's doing what he's not supposed to be doing, and pray for him instead?

I've seen brothers and sisters in the Lord make fun of a fellow Christian for his struggles with the opposite sex. For example Brother A tends to approach sister A too much, but instead of praying for him and helping him, brother B and sister B gossip about him and ridicule him instead. Not helpful, right?

Realize that your brothers are being tempted to sin, and you can help them overcome it. Pray for them.

2) Let him know where he's going wrong and that there's hope in Christ

Here's a truth that isn't really known: real men want correction. When told that what they are doing is wrong, many men out there will actually repent and do what is right. The same goes in the area of purity.

Instead of focusing on a man's struggles with woman (that women won't really understand fully, anyway. Read Proverbs 30:18-19), focus on the fact that there's hope in Christ Jesus. He defeated sin and death and declared freedom to all who are in prison. Lust and perversion is a prison, but Christ has broken its power; why not encourage your brothers to hope in Christ?

Let your brother know that lusting after women is sin, and it offends God. It also degrades women. Let him know that he should repent of it and turn to Christ for help.

The best way to do this is NOT to talk to a man alone. If you noticed that he has struggles with this, talk to your pastor about how to help him. Your pastor should know how to help. Remember, don't talk to a man alone about this kind of struggle.

If your brother has crossed purity lines with you, confront him and tell him what he did is wrong. Reject his attempts and don't give him any more room, but pray for his repentance and if needed, tell someone trustworthy about what happened and ask for their advice and help.

3) Dress modestly

Of course, you should also dress modestly. There's no use praying for your brother in the Lord and asking your pastor to talk to him about his struggles while you wear all sorts of revealing clothes that actually tempt him to commit sin.

Wear clothes that reveal nothing. Show your brothers (and sisters in the Lord) that your security is found in Christ, not in the amount of men looking at your exposed body parts.

To be honest, fallen and unredeemed women wear revealing clothes to get people to notice them. The more men they seduce, the more they feel "beautiful." Let me just be real with you and tell you that it's not at all pleasant. You treat yourself like an object, and also allow men to treat you as such.

Sisters, dress modestly. It's not because men can't handle it. It's because you shouldn't be showing your body off. You are better than that.  The Holy Spirit living in you is better than that.  And your future husband is better than that. Reserve your body for your husband. Keep yourself for the Lord, and all men will look up to you. Who knows, maybe your modesty will even change the way they think about women?


If you're married, you're in an even better position to help your husband.

Instead of bashing him for his struggles, realize that you're his helpmate and that God appointed you to be the only woman he can talk to about it. Talk to him about the matter. Let him know that you want him free from sexual impurity, and free to love God and you fully. Be a "safe place" for him to be vulnerable and honest about such issues.

If you're single, you're in the best place to help all men in the fight against sexual lust.

Be a model of purity and modesty. Show men and women alike that real beauty is found inside, and not outside. Be secure in Christ, not in the number of men lusting after you and not in the number of women envying you.