For many Americans, all they've heard is that Christians are "anti-gay". The recent passage of amendments in California, Florida and Arizona defining marriage between a man and a woman and the large support those measures drew from churches have not changed that perception, and perhaps made it worse.
But few, if any, especially in the media, have given the public the "whole story" about churches and their persistent efforts to protect what they believe is God's definition of marriage.
"I’ve not seen any attempt [by the mass media] to understand or communicate the real concern of Christians concerning gay marriage," said Bob Stith, who heads the Ministry to Homosexuals Task Force in the Southern Baptist Convention – the largest Protestant denomination in the country.
And Christians have not been much help either.
"Too many Christians have cooperated with this by emphasising more of what we’re against than what we’re for," Stith commented, concerning the gay marriage debate.
But much of that "whole story" includes love.
Former homosexual Melissa Fryrear educates thousands of Christians every year on how to respond to the issue of homosexuality in a "Christ-like" manner.
Director of the gender issues department at Focus on the Family, which hosts Love Won Out conferences, she says she has been accused of being anti-gay because of her beliefs.
"I'm not anti-gay because I'm a Christian and I'm a heterosexual evangelical Christian," said Fryrear, who became a Christian and came out of homosexuality over 15 years ago. "I'm pro-biblical sexual ethic. I'm pro-God's created intent for sexuality" – that being marriage between a man and a woman.
"That's what I'm for, so anything that falls outside of that falls out of God's intent," she highlighted.
"It's not what I'm against, it's what I'm for," she added, noting the nuance.
Still, it is a tough sell for many gay rights supporters, especially the thousands that marched last weekend in protest of the passage of gay marriage bans in three states. Hundreds stood in front of churches with protest signs.
According to UPI.com, some opponents of California's marriage amendment, or Proposition 8, went as far as releasing blacklists (antigayblacklist.com) of those who made monetary contributions to support Proposition 8. The list includes the names of individuals, businesses, Christian ministries and churches and how much each donated.
