Rick Warren says true friends interested in other people's lives, show up physically and not just in spirit

To Pastor Rick Warren, saying ‘I'll be with you in spirit' means nothing since it’s just ‘a bunch of bologna.’ (Facebook/Rick Warren)

Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church says it is not easy maintaining friendships, because people have to be purposeful and intentional about keeping their circle of friends.

"The starting point of building great friendships is investing your time and energy. Deep friendships are not accidental. They are not instant. And they are not cheap," he writes on his website. "Deep friendships are...a choice."

The key to establishing friendships is to start getting interested in other people's lives. In fact, Warren says in doing so, people will "make more friends in the next two months than you would in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."

Even Philippians 2:4 says so: "Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others."

After the friendship has been established, Warren says the only way for it to grow is for people to be physically present in their friends' lives. If people don't "show up" for their friends, Warren says they'll revert to being mere acquaintances.

"Just show up. Physical presence is essential to having a long-term, deep friendship instead of an acquaintance," he explains. "When somebody says to you, 'You know that small group this week? I'll be with you in spirit,' you know what that means? Nothing! It's a bunch of bologna. You can't be in spirit anywhere. If you're not there in body, you [aren't] there. Friends show up. They're present."

Meanwhile, Warren also has some advice on how people should build their family legacies. The "Purpose Driven Life" author believes that "awesome families" dedicate their time in showing love to their neighbours and doing charitable acts.

"Awesome families teach their kids that they're not the center of the universe. They teach their kids that God made them and shaped them for a mission. They model dedication, service, generosity, and prayer. Average families don't do those things. Awesome families do," he says.

related articles
Pastor Rick Warren shows how to stay enthusiastic every day, says positive thinking is not enough
Pastor Rick Warren shows how to stay enthusiastic every day, says positive thinking is not enough

Pastor Rick Warren shows how to stay enthusiastic every day, says positive thinking is not enough

Rick Warren says people\'s thoughts shape their lives: \'Be careful what you think\'
Rick Warren says people's thoughts shape their lives: 'Be careful what you think'

Rick Warren says people's thoughts shape their lives: 'Be careful what you think'

Forgive and forget? Pastor Rick Warren says it\'s \'impossible\' to do as he shows a better way to deal with past hurts
Forgive and forget? Pastor Rick Warren says it's 'impossible' to do as he shows a better way to deal with past hurts

Forgive and forget? Pastor Rick Warren says it's 'impossible' to do as he shows a better way to deal with past hurts

Why did God create Adam first before Eve? Pastor Rick Warren explains
Why did God create Adam first before Eve? Pastor Rick Warren explains

Why did God create Adam first before Eve? Pastor Rick Warren explains

Rick Warren advises quarrelling couple: Don\'t split up; think of your kids\' welfare
Rick Warren advises quarrelling couple: Don't split up; think of your kids' welfare

Rick Warren advises quarrelling couple: Don't split up; think of your kids' welfare

News
Hong Kong pro-democracy media tycoon Jimmy Lai sentenced to 20 years in prison
Hong Kong pro-democracy media tycoon Jimmy Lai sentenced to 20 years in prison

The 78-year-old Catholic and founder of the now-defunct Apple Daily newspaper was convicted in December on two counts of conspiracy to collude with foreign forces to endanger national security and one count of conspiracy to publish seditious articles.

Archbishop Mullally uses maiden presidential address to re-commit to better safeguarding standards
Archbishop Mullally uses maiden presidential address to re-commit to better safeguarding standards

Dame Sarah Mullally has used her maiden presidential address to Synod as Archbishop of Canterbury to lament the Church of England's past failings on safeguarding and double down on raising standards. 

Cuban bishops warn oil sanctions could deepen hardship and unrest
Cuban bishops warn oil sanctions could deepen hardship and unrest

The message, read in Catholic parishes nationwide, warned that further pressure on fuel access would fall most heavily on vulnerable families already struggling to survive.

Turkey taken to task over Christians banned from the country
Turkey taken to task over Christians banned from the country

Foreign pastors are often labelled "national security" threats.