Married couples in the Bible offer many lessons to married Christian couples today. As such, we will do well to study their lives and marriages.
In this article we'll talk about a couple who started out so well, but had their relationship sour over time: Isaac and Rebekah.
Here are a few important things we can learn from them.
1) Marriages can start well, but will need effort to keep them well
Genesis 24:62-67 tells us how Isaac and Rebekah's relationship started off well:
"Now Isaac came from the way of Beer Lahai Roi, for he dwelt in the South. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field in the evening; and he lifted his eyes and looked, and there, the camels were coming. Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; for she had said to the servant, "Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?"
The servant said, "It is my master." So she took a veil and covered herself.
And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death."
Despite being an arranged marriage, we read that Isaac loved Rebekah. The word "loved" there really meant loved - he truly loved Rebekah, even though they had just met.
Fast forward years and decades later, we read how distant they grew from each other. The gap in their relationship grew so thick that:
- Rebekah did not share what God revealed to her about their children (see Genesis 25:23);
- that they had their own favorites in the family (see Genesis 25:28);
- and that Rebekah would hatch a plot where Isaac would be tricked to bless Isaac instead of Esau (see Genesis 27).
We need to take care of our marriages from start to finish. This effort starts from the day we commit to marry, and ends the day we go home to God (see 1 Corinthians 7:39).
2) That we must not play favorites
As mentioned above, Isaac and Rebekah had favorites. Isaac enjoyed Esau, while Rebekah preferred Jacob. This was a mistake.
Author and pastor Richard Strauss noted that Isaac had problems communicating with Rebekah. His wife was bubbly and lively, while he likely kept his feelings to himself.
And so when their children grew, Isaac grew fond of Esau who was "the rugged outdoorsman that he himself never was." Rebekah, on the other hand, enjoyed Jacob as he loved staying home and likely listened to his mother.
Parents must never play favorites with their children. Moreover, they must not take from their children what they ought to receive from each other. Husbands and wives must learn to prioritize their marriage before the children. And no favorites among the kids.
3) We must forgive each other
Married couples must keep in mind that fights and arguments can and will happen in marriage.
There will be times of disagreement and disappointment, and what matters is that we must all learn to forgive each other. Isaac and Rebekah's marriage showed how dangerous not forgiving one another really is.
They grew increasingly apart from each other. And although it is very commendable that Isaac never had another woman in his life, it is tragic that their relationship slowly became like that of roommates living inside one house.
We must learn to forgive each other for all the times we hurt, offend, and disappoint one another.
