Doing ministry is a great thing. We serve God, bless people, and feel fulfilled when we do. But if there's one thing that many ministers should learn, it's prioritising their marriage – their overall relationship with their spouses – over their ministry. Why? Read on because what I'll share is very important.
Do You Not Know?
There are many people in my region, especially church leaders who are still single, who think of marriage wrongly. Many think that God meant marriage so that the wife will help the husband pursue his God-given calling, seeing wives as mere "helpers" to the man.
Such a view comes from a wrong understanding of Genesis 2:18, where God thought of making a "helper" that's "comparable" or "suitable" for Adam. While God did design Eve to provide the greatest support Adam could ever receive from an earthly partner, she wasn't a second-class citizen or a maid.
The Lord Jesus even quoted some parts of the creation passage, saying:
"Haven't you read the Scriptures? Jesus replied. They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.' And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." (Matthew 19:4-7)
United Into One
Yes, Jesus did quote that in response to a question about divorce, and we must take note of this idea: God meant a man and his wife to be "one." The man and the woman, two different beings, were meant by the all-knowing, all-powerful, and ultimately loving God who knows what He is doing.
So what's the point? Dear friends, if you're married, you should never prioritise your ministry ahead of your spouse. You and your spouse are one, and your spouse is a higher priority than other people.
A Faithful Instruction
Let's also take what Paul said to Timothy:
"An overseer then must be blameless, the husband of one wife..." (1 Timothy 3:2)
So now we have another reason: ministers should be faithful to their spouses. Husbands should be faithful to their wives, and wives to their husbands, if they will be serving God in ministry. This faithfulness to our spouses will reflect our faithfulness to God and fear of Him.
"For if a man does not know how to manage his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?" (see 1 Timothy 3:5)
This requirement actually shows if a person can actually minister in church: If he cannot lead a godly home then how can he be expected to lead a godly group of people? Our families are our first ministries.
Summing It Up
To sum it up, dear friends, here are three reasons why our marriages should be more prioritised than our ministry lives:
1. I am one with my spouse;
2. My faithfulness to my spouse reflects my faithfulness to God;
3. My ability to lead a godly marriage and family life reflects my ability to lead in ministry.
Let's all learn to prioritise our marriages.
