Couples enter marriages with lots of hope and love, but if they are not careful, they can easily let small things grow bigger and eventually put a strain on their relationships.
Pastor John Gray of Lakewood Church said even strong relationships are susceptible to mistakes and he shared three that new couples often make in their marriages.
The first of these is holding their spouse hostage to past mistakes. It's normal for people to make mistakes, but Gray said people will get nowhere if they keep on punishing their partners for their past mistakes. "That can mess up a young marriage because nobody knows how to do it right at the beginning," he told the Huffington Post.
The second mistake couples make is the assumption that married life won't be different from dating. "When you engage another human being willingly with the opportunity to walk away, which is what dating is, there's less pressure," he explained. "When you get married, now you're saying, 'I'm building with this person.' There will be tension."
Lastly, Gray reminded couples that their issues are their issues, and there is no need to raise these problems with their parents, friends, or relatives. By getting other people involved, it will actually be harder for couples to shake off them off after they've been resolved.
"Lady, if he offends you, don't tell your mama. Because when he ends up apologizing and getting it right, and you're healed from it, the mother still remembers it," he warned. "Keep your business to yourself."
Meanwhile, Carol Heffernan warned in an article for Focus on the Family that Christian couples should not have unrealistic expectations about their relationships because God did not promise perfect, conflict-free marriages.
"Truth is, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee. Even men and women who grew up in stable homes, who attend church and consider themselves Christians, who promise 'until death do us part,' can have it all fall apart," she said.
The important thing during challenging times, said Heffernan, is for couples to "steer each other in His direction."
