The 75 thoughts you have while trying to have a Quiet Time

1. Ahhhh, quiet time. All is quiet.
   
2. I can hear the fridge.
3. Never quite know how to get started with these things.
4. Oh Lord, I'm so sorry that it's been ages. Literally ages. I feel awful, please forgive me.
5. Right. Silence, I'll start with some silence.
6. ...
7. Wha?! What's that noise? Is that the still small voice of God?
8. Speak Lord, your servant is listening!
9. Ah, no, it's my stomach.
10. Probably should have had breakfast first.
11. Ok, more silence. Still listening, Lord.
12. This isn't really working is it?
13. Tell you what, I'll do the talking. Here are some prayers.
14. I should probably open by saying how majestic and worthy you are.
15. Worthy's a funny word isn't it? Worthy.
16. Bit of thanksgiving. You know: for the breath in my lungs, for another day, for the opportunity to serve you, etc etc.
17. Right then: SHOPPING LIST
18. Here is a series of requests, if it's not too much trouble, which I'd really appreciate you fulfilling in the next 24 hours, if that's at all possible.
19. Thanks God. You are so great and mighty. Thank you.
20. And worthy.
21. And gracious also. Thank you for you grace. That you give us what we don't deserve.
22. Hint.
23. Whoa, there goes the stomach again.
24. Actually I feel like I need to burp.
25. Is it ok to burp during a quiet time? I'm never sure.
26. It's a bit like the whole praying on the loo thing. Is that appropriate? I feel like it might be a bit disrespectful.
27. I could probably write an article for Christian Today on that.
28. Bible! I should read some of the Bible.
29. What bit should I read?
30. I could flick it open and see where it lands...
31. "After the time of Abimelech a man of Issachar, Tola son of Puah, the son of Dodo, rose to save Israel. He led Israel for 23 years; then he died, and was buried in Shamir."
32. Nope.
33. Sermon on the Mount seems safe. I know where it is and everything.
34. Hang on, IT'S NOT IN THIS BIBLE!
35. Oh, no wait it's in Matthew.
36. Matthew. Always makes me think of Matthew Bennett-Green from my class at Primary school. I wonder what happened to him.
37. Reading.
38. I will Google Matthew Bennett-Green later. There can't be many of them.
39. Reading a bit more.
40. This is good. I should probably read the Bible in one year at some point.
41. I could totally do that. What haven't I done that? It's only a few pages a day.
42. Stomach's getting louder.
43. Matthew Bennett-Green used to bully me.
44. I think that's why I'm afraid of toilets.
45. I'm at the end of the chapter!
46. I have no idea what I just read.
47. I'll read it again.
48. Slash skim-read it.
49. Very good. I will look for ways to apply this in my own life today.
50. Which could be awkward if I meet anyone considering a divorce.
51. So this has been great.
52. What else is one supposed to do in a quiet time anyway?
53. I could listen to some worship music.
54. Oh no, my phone's vibrating.
55. I think I've even got a couple of old worship CDs on the shelf.
56. Seriously, I can ignore this. My phone does not control me.
57. I have the first Tim Hughes album! I used to listen to that all the time!
58. It could be important of course. Someone might have died and they're trying to get hold of me.
59. Well not them, obviously but some other people who want to tell me the person is dead.
60. I'll put the CD on. That will help me to focus.
61. Wait a minute, is that you Lord? Are you telling me to check my phone?
62. I probably shouldn't ignore that.
63. Ah, it's an email. Well I might as well look now...
64. Stupid Linkedin notification emails! I don't care what Phil's new job is.
65. Seriously, I'm not looking at that now. I'm with the Lord.
66. HR Manager?! What? How on earth did he pull that one?
67. Right, this is ridiculous. Focus. The CD is going on.
68. Yes Lord, Here I am to worship. Here I am.
69. You know, I could probably just have this on while I'm getting ready for work.
70. ...and there goes my stomach again.
71. How long have I been going for? It's felt like a decent chunk of time, this.
72. Four minutes and... twelve seconds. 
73. I tell you what God. I'll make some breakfast, and then I'll come back and do part two.
74. Probably.
75. Or if not, we can definitely do this again tomorrow...

Martin Saunders is a Contributing Editor for Christian Today and the Deputy CEO of Youthscape. You can follow him on Twitter: @martinsaunders