Even inside the church, there are bullies who get a kick out of getting their own way and making other people do their bidding. Because of this fact, Thom Rainer, CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources, is sharing some tips on how to identify church bullies and stay clear of them.
"I get it. It's one thing for me to state the obvious: the traits of a bully. But it's another thing for me to provide early warning signs so you won't be blindsided," he writes on his website.
One warning sign is that church bullies are always among the first in the church to tell you how much they love you, says Rainer. "And they will continue to love you as long as you do everything exactly the way they want it done every single day," he adds.
Church bullies also have strong personalities, so they are always the most boisterous ones who speak up frequently during meetings. Not only are they loud, but they have strong opinions on just about everything, says Rainer. And if you find yourself contradicting their views, they will surely target you.
It does not come as any surprise then that church bullies are terrible listeners. "They want you to listen to them; they don't want to listen to you," says Rainer.
Also, church bullies build unhealthy alliances that work to their advantage. Rainer says there was one time a church bully formed an alliance with two weak staff members. The three of them conspired with one another to get the pastor fired even without being asked for his side of the story.
"They do most of their toxic work in darkness. They let other people become the fall persons for their nefarious deeds. They meet with them behind closed doors and then slither away," says Rainer.
Because of their negative traits, Rainer says bullies never stay long at one church. They have definitely moved around, because they like to leave a church after doing damage. Sometimes, they have been the ones asked to leave.
Rainer says not all churches have bullies, but many churches indeed have them. The best thing one can do when encountering church bullies is to stay away from them and be careful.
