Many of today's youth have a misconception about the stand most youth ministries take on students who date. Often students view youth ministers and youth leaders as legalistic people who ban dating just because they don't trust them.
This is far from the truth because of two reasons. First, youth ministries will never have the power nor authority to ban dating and often simply discourage it. Secondly, the reason that most youth leaders ban dating among youth is not because they're legalistic nor is it because they don't trust students. It's because they simply desire to protect students from the compromise and danger it holds.
There is no definite stand on the issue, and student couples should be handled carefully in the context of discipleship and mentoring.
Sometimes there are some Christian relationships among students that are a blessing and remain pure, but many times they can also end up as total wrecks. Although your youth pastor cannot ban or prohibit you from dating, here are some compromises that can hopefully help youth to be careful with their relationships.
Sexual purity. More often than not, a romantic relationship between a boy and a girl will hold sexual tension. Youth ministries should stop sweeping this under the rug and must start telling their students that they disciple the danger it holds to their purity, but they must do so with love and understanding.
Independence. The time a student has in school can be a great time to grow in the area of independence. Early romantic relationships rarely enable students to grow in the area of independence and only build dependence on one another.
Education. Yes, I will say that old boring cliche because that old boring cliche is the simple undeniable truth. The quality of education you get will heavily determine the quality of life you will have in the future, and although it's not a given that a serious relationship will compromise your education, for many this does in fact happen.
Time with God. Although we are always searching for a closer relationship with God, during one's youth, it is a particularly important time in developing your understanding of God's heart and building your core relationship with God. Again, although a serious relationship may not always result in one compromising time with God, for many this will in fact be the case. Before getting into a serious relationship it is vitally important that one prioritise seeking God and putting him first. If God can be put first and be the foundation in your life then this will form the platform for a permanent and successful relationship later on.
