Today there are so many marriage myths that get people stuck in a lot of heartache and stress. These myths take away the beauty and simplicity of marriage, and attempt to paint a high-maintenance and often unrealistic view of marriage. We've got to stop believing in them!
This article was written to help all married couples and singles who desire to be married soon. Knowing that these myths are plain lies will help us enjoy our marriages even better, allow us to love our spouses the way God wants us to, and take away unnecessary stress that weighs us down.
Here are some marriage myths that we need to stop believing in.
1) That the "right person" will mean a marriage without problems
This will shock you, but no. Mr. or Ms. Right won't make a marriage problem-free. We're imperfect people no matter how much we try to be perfect, and that means we'll always have flaws and shortcomings. That's just how it is.
Friends, we've got to realize that the right person for us isn't perfect. Any marriage will always face its own problems, no matter how kind and Christ-like the husband and wife can be. We live in a fallen world, and that means problems will definitely come one way or another.
There's also the fact that we're just plain different. That means even if it's not a sin issue, there can be conflicts or strain simply because we're two very different people with different personalities, backgrounds, and ideals doing our best to become one unified partnership. Friend, it takes time.
2) That we've got to have the same likes and dislikes to be a happy couple
Here's a common myth among younger people today. But here's the truth: we shouldn't expect that our spouses will have the same likes and dislikes that we have. If we want a spouse who is just like us, then we're better off marrying a mirror instead!
Marriage is a combination of two different people. Adam and Eve were different, but God designed them for each other. Think about that.
The only likes and dislikes that really matter for couples are a love for God and a hate for sin. Everything else is a secondary issue that can be worked around.
3) That we shouldn't have any disagreements and fights in order to be a happy couple
Healthy, happy marriages have healthy arguments and disagreements. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." We should treasure that.
Healthy fights and disagreements will always enrich a marriage. When the fights are too numerous and aren't healthy, however, that's a different thing. Spouses shouldn't abuse each other. Healthy disagreements are about two people who disagree - perhaps even strongly - but who remain committed to a process of trying to work things out and reach a mutually acceptable agreement. If the communication remains holy and honoring of both parties, and something is learned from the discussion, then an argument need not be damaging to the relationship. That doesn't mean we should try to fight or be combative with our spouses, but it does mean you shouldn't read fights as a sign that you weren't meant to be together.
4) That children are first before the married couple
Many couples make the mistake of prioritizing the children over their own marriage. How spouses treat each other is very important in the raising of children; what the kids see in their parents will affect their growth and shape their own thinking of their future marriages.
The marriage relationship's health is important. Married couples need to take care of each other all the time, and not just think of the kids. If the husband and wife are happy with each other and showing love, this positivity will naturally overflow to the kids.
5) That checking every box on the wishlist will mean a happy marriage
Some couples make the wrong assumption that "if only we have this [insert desired object here], we'll be happy." No, that won't work.
Having money and possessions or whatever else is on your wishlist just doesn't ensure a happy marriage. While money for basic needs and other important things is truly necessary and greatly affects the marriage relationship, these things just won't ensure faithfulness, purity, and joy in the marriage.
Spending time together in the Bible, praying together, learning a new craft or pursuing a shared hobby or passion together absolutely will bring lots of joy to your marriage even if your house needs a new lick of paint or your car's broken down for the tenth time.
