Why infidelity never starts with sex and what you can do to guard against it

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Adultery is a sin that is heavier than most not because any other sin is lighter, but because of the repercussions it has. When a married person falls into infidelity, it not only affects them but the whole family and even beyond.

That being said, how do we make sure that as married men and women we uphold our testimony and protect our family - the most important relationship we have here on earth? It all starts with understanding when and where infidelity starts. Sadly, so many people think that infidelity starts as late as physical contact or worse, as late as sexual intimacy. Truth be told, infidelity starts much earlier than that.

We've also been told that infidelity can start as early as the first conversation with the opposite sex where malice is inserted. No, infidelity does not even start there. If we truly trace the root of infidelity, it will always go back to the condition of a man or woman's relationship with God.

In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says, "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Infidelity and sexual immorality is first and foremost an issue with the heart. It starts not with sexual urges but with heart problems that are not laid at the feet of Jesus Christ.

Galatians 5:24 further says this: "And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

When we are truly Christ's, the fleshy desires we might have once had are no more and that includes the desire for lust and sex outside the context of marriage. The flesh will always tell us that one man or one woman will not meet all our needs, and that's partially true. Your husband or wife can never truly satisfy you because only Jesus can give you satisfaction beyond measure.

It's unrealistic to think that your spouse will ever be enough because they are broken and incomplete sinners just like you. But Jesus will always be enough for us. When we are truly His and when we are truly satisfied with Him, we will no longer need sexual escapades outside of marriage.

If you're a spouse struggling with the temptation to act unfaithfully towards your spouse, stop looking to your marriage, your husband or your wife for fulfilment because you'll never find it. Look instead to the cross, train your eyes back on Jesus, and find fulfilment and affirmation there so that you will no longer fall for sexual immorality.