If you don't want to know the score, look away now: Jesus was crucified, died and three days later, rose again having given us a way to God in the process by dealing once and for all with our sins.
Oh, and in Titanic, the boat sinks and lots of people drown.
But neither of these two facts will spoil the BBC's latest mini-series, The Passion. Retelling the events of Jesus' final week of ordinary earthly ministry, from entering Jerusalem's narrow streets on the back of a colt to his death and resurrection, it brings the story to life in a way that simply reading the biblical texts ever can.
God's Word to us is fantastic, but pictures always help us to understand a story. And when there's American co-production dollars behind those moving pictures, those images are sumptuous, crystal clear and incredibly dramatic. I'll gloss over any biblical differences here - I'm a TV critic, not a trained theologian - and focus on just how moving those moving pictures are.
The Passion was just like watching a feature film, albeit on the small screen. The first episode skilfully shows first century Jerusalem as a claustrophobic, chaotic and smelly place, where a battle of egos between the Romans and the temple priests leaves no place for troublemaker like Jesus.
This is a city under siege and under fear, with Romans brutally dispatching troublemakers and temple guards being equally quick at handing out their brand of 'justice'. No wonder the ordinary Jewish people were desperate for a king to come along and change the status quo.
No wonder they packed the narrow streets, waving branches and throwing rose petals when the man who would be king arrived on the back on a colt, smiling and appearing to enjoy the moment.
This man is, of course, Jesus. But he's not the Messiah we've seen before. Nor is he a very naughty boy. Joseph Mawle's Christ is warm, kind, authoritative, charming and wise but also sometimes a little too smug.
