As strange as it might sound, Christian couples should love God more than they do each other. Husbands and wives who can honestly say this tend to have healthier and happier marriages.
Christian writer Debra K. Fileta is proud that she and her husband share the same outlook on marriage. "To the outside listener, that might sound totally strange and maybe even completely be inappropriate. You might think we're having marital problems or settling for a mediocre relationship," she writes in an article for Relevant Magazine. "But for us, that thought makes complete sense in light of our personal relationships with God, through Jesus Christ."
Fileta says it is for that reason that their marriage is alive, strong, and complete. "You see, for as many great days we have in marriage, there are also days when we simply don't feel so great — days when each of us don't feel like loving or giving or forgiving. We feel hurt. We feel selfish. We may even feel that we've been wronged," she says.
Whenever she or her husband feel the need to run or hide, or maybe even get revenge on one another, God anchors their love and holds them in place. "Our relationship with God is the supernatural relationship that pours into us so we can pour into each other," she explains.
God's qualities—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self control—are poured onto couples who place Him at the centre of their marriages. Whenever they are weak, He fills their needs.
So whenever Fileta feels that her husband is not treating her like he should, she trusts that God's Spirit will work on his life. "I am thankful that he loves God more than he loves me, because it's through that relationship with God that he's learned to love me like he should," she says.
And it's the same way whenever her husband feels slighted by her. Fileta says that it is only through God that couples can enjoy complete love; those who have Him outside of their relationship "only get a hazy glimpse" of love.
"Hands down, the best marriages I've witnessed in my life are the ones that are displaying this kind of love in their lives, fuelled by their unwavering commitment and devotion to Jesus Christ. Because it's a love that changes everything, slowly transforming both you and your spouse into the person God has called you to be," she says.
