Its possible to use lust to build a better bond with God, according to relationship expert Gary Smalley, author of the book Joy that Lasts.
In his article posted on Crosswalk.com, Smalley analysed the factors that inspire lust and cited examples of relationships that fail because it.
From a psychological perspective, he referred to a quote by psychiatrist Gerald May who said that it was God who created man to attach to Him.
"All humans have a God-given, built-in need to attach to God in a meaningful way. When we ignore God, we instead try to attach to his creation—people, things, and career. This is where all types of addictions are formed," May said.
Smalley attributed the need to connect as one of the reasons people feel lust, much like a person having an affair over the internet because they find a better connection with a stranger in a chat room than with their real-life partners.
"In too many cases, men and women let their imaginations go wild in these relationships," he said.
However, he said that the emotion that is perceived as destructive to a relationship can actually be a means to finding a better connection with God.
The first step, he said, is by recognising the basic motive behind the emotion. He explained that lust often makes partners view each other not as a person to be loved but rather as objects to be used to achieve one's own happiness. In recognising one's partner as a person to be served in love, one can overcome lust.
Smalley also said that "lust can reconfirm our awareness that God - not another's body, not even our mate's - is the source of our fulfilment" since sex, no matter how pleasurable it can be, cannot substitute the lasting joy and fulfillment brought by knowing God.
Smalley advised couples to pray to God in the midst of lustful thoughts to erase dissatisfaction with their partner and trust God to provide for their needs and desires.
"Because God knows our thoughts, we can share them with him and admit that we don't understand. That's what Paul instructs us to do in Romans: [God's] Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but ... he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will (Romans 8:26-27)," he said.
