Saddleback Pastor Tom Holladay shares tips on how couples can make their marriages last a lifetime

Saddleback pastor Tom Holladay believes that marriages can last for a lifetime as long as couples know how to listen, accept and forgive, be humble, and love God with all of their hearts. (Twitter/Tom Holladay)

It's not unusual for marriages to fail nowadays. But California's Saddleback Church Pastor Tom Holladay believes that enduring love in marriage can be achieved with the help of God.

He said there are four decisions people need to make to make their marriages last. The first is that people should open their hearts to listen.

"Listen to your spouse so you know what she or he is going through in life," he said, according to The Christian Post. Holladay then shared the Bible verse James 1:19 that says, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."

Listening to one another is not as easy as it sounds, said Holladay, since men and women think differently. But he stressed that listening is actually hearing the other person.

The second decision people need to make is to forgive. It's different to accept and forgive, he explained. If people are not perfect or are different, we need to accept them as they are. Forgiveness, on the other hand, requires getting over someone else's wrongdoings against you.

"In marriage, one sinner is marrying another sinner. Of course, some of those sins are going to hurt each other in our lives together. Marriage is a union of two great forgivers," he said.

The third decision requires humility, said the pastor. "Humility is the key to be unselfish."

Giving something and expecting something is wrong and is not being unselfish since it is similar to a business transaction. Unselfishness means people consider more their partner's welfare rather than their own, he explained.

Lastly, people need to love God with all of their hearts. "The closer you get to God, the closer you get to each other," the pastor said.

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