When couples undergo a transition period as they become parents, it is important for them not to lose sight of their partnership, says Lauren Chandler, wife of Texas megachurch pastor Matt Chandler.
"Having kids has definitely affected our marriage, especially having three, and each kid affected our marriage in a different way," she says in a video posted on the Gospel Coalition Facebook page. "One, we're learning to be parents, and so, [we were] getting to see each other grow in that role and also see each other kind of flail in that role, too."
"And then, the second kid bringing another element of, 'Okay, it's not the two of us against them or with them, but with them. As Matt likes to say, 'It's man on man coverage.' And then, for the third one, it's zone coverage," she says.
Sometimes couples get so carried away being parents that they are "at the mercy of the urgent, which is usually the schedules of our children," Lauren says.
Of course, parenthood has its blessings, too.
"But the flip side of that is I've gotten to see Matt grow as a dad and I get to marvel at what God does in him and how God created him to interact with the kids," she muses.
"He's a lot of fun with them, he's creative, and then also he's a great help to me. It's so nice to have that come in at the end of a long day and be able to kind of see something from like 30,000 feet something that I've been stuck in the weeds on."
When Matt comes to her and offers help in raising their kids, Lauren feels a surge of pride and gratitude. This is why the pastor's wife believes it's extremely important for married couples to treat their life partner well.
"Be intentional with dating your spouse," she says. "That doesn't have to be this big thing; it could just be that you put the kids to bed, you shower, bathe, and you get on the couch and you watch something on Netflix, or a TV show that you wanna catch up on. Or, maybe it's coffee in the morning before the kids get up and you're reading the Bible beside each other, or asking each other questions."
"Also, marvel at how the Lord has made your husband or wife to be a mother or father," she adds.
