Church etiquette: do we need rules on how to behave at Church?

A few weeks ago a note was inserted into every newsletter at my Church. The note listed a set of points on how to behave respectfully before, during and after Mass. It wasn't the first time I'd seen such a note and I doubt it will be the last. I wouldn't class the congregation as badly behaved but it's possible that I'm not as observant of the conduct of my fellow churchgoers as the people who decided that it was necessary for the note to be distributed. But as I made my way through the list, another thought struck me. It's also very possible that I care less about some of the issues raised and I'm not convinced that's a bad thing.

One of the points warned against is the consumption of food by children during Mass. It was noted that this may be necessary for health reasons and in such cases the priest should be informed. My church is full of young families so wherever you sit you're often not that far away from a toddler or two. But I can't recall the last time I saw one eating away during the hymns or the homily. I understand that if everyone ate all through church it would be messy in more ways than one, but I also realise that Mass can seem like a very long time for a child and a little snack can sometimes keep them happy and quiet.

The issue of mobile phones was also raised. While I wholeheartedly agree that it's inappropriate to use your phone to make or receive texts or calls during Mass, the idea of switching off your mobile altogether did strike me as a little unfair. Many of us have Bible apps on our phones nowadays (myself included) and we like to add notes to these during church. This is something that becomes problematic with a blanket ban on mobile phone use.

The third point that I will share mentioned the need to limit conversations pre and post Mass. This was to give peace and quiet to those praying at these times. While I find it impossible to disagree with a request to ensure that you exercise respect around people who are praying, I do think that more could be done to address this issue. The chattiness of the congregation could be channelled into an after Mass meet-up.

To me, each point presented the opportunity to address an issue in a more in depth and positive way than a list of dos and don'ts. Christianity is a diverse religion so it is no surprise that this denominational diversity has meant that there are a wide variety of churches. Each church has it's own idiosyncrasies as a result of the building, the clergy, the country and the congregation.

I completely understand the need to maintain certain standards around particular aspects. For example, I think we'd all agree that it would be unacceptable and distracting if everyone was free to talk all the way through the service and munch on loud snacks every week. (And why mobile phones are still accidentally going off on loud during church is a little bit beyond me.)

But can these kinds of rules turn more people away from church?

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