Hollywood movies often portray a man who remains friends with an ex-girlfriend or vice-versa, even for a long period of time. Their friendship remains even after one of them gets married to someone else. Does that feel, or even just sound, OK?
Of course not.
Many people in church today sacrifice integrity and purity - even in relationships, especially marriage - just to be a "nice person for the sake of Christ." Many of us fall for this: the idea that we should always be nice to others so that we can reach out to them for the sake of the Gospel.
But isn't the Gospel a message of freedom from bondage? A message of freedom from the things that took the place of God in our lives? A message of righteous living based on the finished work of Christ?
That said, we must understand that because of Christ's finished work, we should all be able to say "goodbye" to the things that should not be in our lives.
And that includes wrong relationships.
When marriage takes precedence over friendships
I am writing this article to all my fellow husbands out there. Brothers, as married men, God expects so much from us. Ephesians 5:25 tells us,
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."
God wants all of us to love our wives the way Christ loved the church: intentionally, sacrificially, and with laser-focus. We can't afford to love our wives only when it's convenient; when we've made ourselves happy; and with other distractions beside us.
One of the distractions that can affect our marriage relationship with our respective wives is our friendships with other people, especially any uncut ties with past relationships.
It would be good to constantly remember that our priorities change when we marry: our marriage takes precedence over all other relationships that we have. In fact, we forsake other relationships in favor of our relationship with our wives.
In doing that, we need to cut relationships that must not continue, especially any uncut relationship with a past girlfriend, fling, or any relationship of that kind. Truth is, any married man's "ex" must continue to remain an ex: someone who will never have room in our lives again, especially if the relationship we had with them wasn't Godly.
A freedom to enjoy
Guys, our wives deserve our utmost attention. The woman who stood beside us at the wedding altar, making her vows with us and wearing the wedding ring that pairs with ours, is the only woman we should be giving our hearts to and living our lives with. She deserves our full attention, and that full attention we can only give when we don't have any unnecessary baggage with us.
Let's not carry any baggage with us.
