Building a Christ-centered marriage is the one foolproof way that you can set up your marriage for the long haul. It becomes a whole lot simpler when couples decide that Jesus calls the shots in the relationship. It's not easy, but it's simpler.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." We all know that we are supposed to place God as the third strand, but what does that really mean?
Having God as the third and primary strand means that we stand by His grace at all times. As much as possible, every decision, emotion and circumstance is submitted to the will of God. When we realize that we are not in charge of our marriage or even our own individual lives and leave the leading, providing, protecting and deciding to God, we live in the boundaries of His unlimited grace.
That's not to say that we slack off as people, but that we simply do all things in a marriage and in our lives for and through the glory of Christ. As we do that, some destructive habits start disappearing in the background.
Taking money for granted. When we submit ourselves to the complete Lordship of Christ, everything gets surrendered. We can't say that we truly have Jesus as the center and still let Him share the seat with something or someone else. If Jesus is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all.
The blame game. It can be easy to shift the blame when Jesus is not the center of a marriage because we think that the success of a relationship is dependent on our - or our spouse's - performance. A Christ-centered marriage removes the unnecessary pressure of being the perfect husband and wife and depends on the perfect love of God to fill up all the shortfalls.
Putting work before marriage. When was the last time that you set aside a staff meeting or big presentation for an important family affair? If it's been a long time because you feel that it won't be as satisfying as getting a full work day done, then that might be a sign that God doesn't really have full ownership of the marriage.
Getting our values messed up. Integrity becomes a reflex when we know God is in charge of our lives, not because we feel we have to perform for Him, but because as we submit ourselves to God, His enabling grace takes over us and gets us into hyperdrive. We grow in excellence and character in a Christ-centered relationship and God's Word helps us when it comes to what values we have and decisions we should make.
Trying to control the outcome. Things will not always go your way, and that's especially true in a marriage, because there are two very different people in it, but do you believe that even as troubles arise Christ has already overcome the world (John 16:33)? When we know God is in control, we stop trying to be in control and just glorify Him by living life in the best way we can as we move patiently towards where He is leading.
