Royal weddings and lady bishops – time for a change?

Dashing in for long shorts for my son, not wanting to miss a moment of spring sunshine, the supermarket's t-shirts slogans took me by surprise: 'When Harry met Meghan' filled the foyer in all sorts of glittering shapes and sizes.

Marriage mania was clear, with tiaras and good wishes to be seen in every shop front along the parade, from the bargain outlet to Harvey Nicks. Sadly, Meghan's own father is not getting quite such a good press as the red-tops persist in digging for dirt. When none is to be found, resorting to the unflattering photograph leads to idle if not malicious speculation.

Meghan Markle and Vivienne Faull.

All to be expected, perhaps, and now it has been confirmed that Meghan's father will no longer be walking her down the aisle. Commentators have suggested this departure from the tradition in which a father or other male relative is expected to 'give away' their female offspring as if 'owned' has not been warmly received by the royal family, while a commentator suggested on Radio 4 that 'the woman who gave birth to her should [walk her down the aisle]' as a positive solution to Meghan's father being indisposed.

It defies belief that in the 21st century an independent woman might need to be 'given away' by her father and not accompanied in mutual love by the woman who has nurtured her throughout her childhood and well into adulthood. Such rank misogyny in the 21st century leaves me breathless – especially when Vivienne Faull has just been announced as the 15th female Church of England bishop, following Mike Hill as Bishop of Bristol.

Dean Faull has pioneered women's ministry for decades, from the moment she was the first woman to train for ordination at St John's College, Nottingham, going on to be one of the first women deacons in 1982, becoming chaplain of Gloucester Cathedral in 1990. In 1994, she was among the first women to be ordained priest, becoming canon pastor of Coventry Cathedral.

Coming full circle after a series of high-ranking church roles, Dean Faull, whose own mother was brought up in Bristol, said on Tuesday that the move would be 'like returning home' as she becomes bishop of a diocese that was the first to ordain women as priests 24 years ago. She declared that she wanted 'the diocese to continue to show that pioneering courage'. Those are not empty words coming from the first woman to head the chapter of an English cathedral.

These two women will both experience the Church of England at her best, one in St George's Chapel, Windsor as she marries into the family whose matriarch not only heads up the monarchy she is to join, but who is the supreme governor of the Church of England. Harry's father would surely never hear Queen Elizabeth II referred to as 'the woman who gave birth to him'? Such rank disrespect of any woman beggars belief, particularly from BBC Radio 4 which spent an entire season exploring the 'locker-room' language of men towards women.

Dean Faull, on the other hand, will be consecrated as the 57th bishop of Bristol at a service at St Paul's Cathedral on July 3 and installed at Bristol Cathedral in the autumn, experiencing the moving magnificence of a service of consecration that continues to mark the historic unfolding of an egalitarian respect of gender, ecclesiology and episcopal order in the Church of England. No doubt she, too, will encounter moments of disrespect, challenge and demeaning language as she continues her pioneering ministry in the ongoing field of firsts.

Dean Faull has been quoted (in the Church Times) as saying, 'What has been lovely over the past four years is to see [women] emerging as bishops, suffragan or diocesan, and watch how they have begun to establish themselves in very different ways, and be themselves, which is transformative of the Church and perceptions of the Church.'

Meghan Markle will also emerge and establish herself as a duchess in very different ways to those who have married into the Windsors before, and we know how well that went for both Princess Diana, Harry's mum, and his aunt, Sarah Ferguson. However difficult their journeys, their advent was and continues to be transformative for the royal family as women bishops are to the Church. Being herself while also being a royal will be a profound challenge in terms of who she is as well as within her new role as a princess by marriage.

Both Ms Markle and Dean Faull are women making history this year – breaking new ground and heading into uncharted territory. They deserve the respect and support of those within the institutions they are joining in order to fully flourish and grow into the enormity of the mantles being thrust upon them. Each will bear burdens large and small, bearable and unbearable as the full weight of their tiara/mitre settles upon them.

Perhaps it is time for us all to put down our rocks and pointed pens and to begin a sea-change of kindness and forgiveness where we acknowledge the imperfections of these mere human beings thrust into as harsh a spotlight as can be imagined. Is it not the time for cynicism to give way to true Christian charity as to make space for the 'other' to flourish and grow, seeing what the new and unexpected has to offer us in terms of enriching and enlivening that which has become so perfectly predictable as to become more pride and prejudice than sense and sensibility?

To both Dean Faull and Meghan Markle I raise my hat – may they each flourish as only human beings can as they find their place in our dearly beloved church; and as they find their place may the love of God, surrounding and upholding them, been seen in and through them, and in all their works within the church and beyond, to the glory of God. Amen.

Rev Dr Hayley Matthews is director of lay training for the diocese of Leeds.

This article appears on ViaMedia.News and is used with permission.