Domestic violence: Yes, it's in the church too

The issue of violence against women seems to be common front page news nowadays. First it was the public revelations of sexual misconduct allegations against the film producer Harvey Weinstein. Then the growing 'Me Too' campaign, spreading virally as a hashtag on social media to demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, especially in the workplace.

A quarter of women experience domestic abuse.Pixabay

The church in the USA has not been immune. Paige Patterson, the president of the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and one of those credited for moving a large section of the church in the USA to the right, has been forced to apologise (on two separate occasions now) for his past comments regarding women. The second time was after an open letter from 3,000 Southern Baptist women 'concerned about the wrong message sent to the world about the value and dignity of women, and aggrieved by the poor gospel witness'.

It's also a big issue with our government. In the 2017 Queen's Speech (when the government set out its policies and proposed legislation for the new parliamentary session) a provision was included to 'transform' the response made to domestic abuse. The declared intent was 'to stimulate a national conversation on how to prevent and tackle domestic abuse' and a commitment was made to bring forward a draft bill that, among other things:

1. Enshrined a definition of domestic abuse in law;
2. Introduced a new protection order to better protect victims from their abusers; and
3. Recognised the harm domestic abuse inflicts on a child.

The resulting consultation document, Transforming the Response to Domestic Abuse, has now been published. It begins with these words:

'All forms of violence and abuse are unacceptable, but it is particularly shocking when it is carried out by those who are supposedly closest to the victims and by those who profess to love the very people that they subject to terrible psychological, emotional and physical abuse. Domestic abuse impacts on victims' everyday lives, can feel inescapable and can have devastating inter-generational consequences on children."'

UK government figures relating to domestic violence are startling. In England and Wales an estimated 26 per cent of women have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16. In the last year alone, an estimated 7.5 per cent of women (1.2 million) experienced domestic abuse (domestic abuse does affect men too but a great majority of the victims are women). Criminal prosecutions are on the increase too – more than 70,000 in 2017/2017, 61 per cent more than nine years ago. There are also an unquantifiable number of survivors who do not report abuse due to shame, self-blame and fear. The real scale of domestic abuse is likely to be much higher.

In churches too

Recent research commissioned on behalf of Restored – an international Christian alliance working to transform relationships and end violence against women – and Churches Together in Cumbria indicate that one in four of women surveyed had experienced at least one instance of abusive behaviour in a current relationship and that 42.2 per cent had experienced at least one instance of abusive behaviour in a current and/or previous relationship on at least one occasion. In other words, very much in accordance with national statistics. This is an issue which affects the church in the UK just as much as the country as a whole.

I do wonder though to what extent the church in the UK 'gets' the problem. During one of the first conversations that I had on becoming co-director of Restored, the person I was speaking to told me that he had never seen any evidence of domestic abuse within the church in the last 30 years.

This has not been my experience. As a solicitor in private practice it was not uncommon to have Christian women from abusive situations referred to me for legal advice – and when someone goes to see a lawyer it is generally pretty serious. Some would be referred by their pastors; others would come to me direct, deeply troubled by an intolerable home situation yet worried that their pastor would take a Paige Patterson line, with the result that they would feel overcome with guilt and even more trapped.

It must be remembered that someone suffering domestic abuse is unlikely to want to broadcast details widely. There is often a sense of shame and guilt, together with pure fear that there will be an escalation of the abuse if the abuser were to hear that the woman had 'shared' with others. Could there also be a concern that the church is not interested? Or the fear of a Paige Patterson type remark has caused them to lose confidence in the care, concern – and doctrine – of the church, with the result that they drift away from faith?

The government's consultation document says this: 'Our main aim through this work is to prevent domestic abuse by challenging the acceptability of abuse and addressing the underlying attitudes and norms that perpetuate it... To achieve this we need to build a society that has zero tolerance towards domestic abuse and actively empowers victims, communities and professionals to confront and challenge it.'

At the end of the day though, any government can only do so much. It is not just the case that they have limited resources. Rather it is because, however much it might wish to raise awareness of the issue, however much the desire might be to 'stimulate a national conversation on how to prevent and tackle domestic abuse', governments have a very limited ability to 'change hearts and minds'.

That is surely something for the church. To call out the problem, one that not only affects those suffering abuse in the here and now, but also those children brought up in such environments who then struggle in future years. As Christians, as churches, we should be taking the lead, calling upon men to change their attitudes and actions towards women. This is undoubtedly what Jesus would want us to do.

Andrew Caplen is co-director of Restored. From 2014 until 2015 he was the president of the Law Society of England and Wales and as president led a national 'Access to Justice' campaign focusing on issues relating to gender based violence.

Restored has published 'In Churches Too: Church Responses to Domestic Abuse', available here.