Pastor Craig Gross of XXX Church says two things happen when people get married. First, they lose contact with their friends. And second, they gain more or less 10 pounds during the first year of their marriage.
"Not sure if one or both of those happened to you," he writes on the ministry's website. "Maybe neither, BUT then you had a first kid. Your newly married couple friends are not as excited about your kid because they are either not wanting kids yet or they are trying, and either way the thought of your kid is not as cool to them as it is to you."
Sadly, says Gross, this change in circumstances makes old friends drift apart from one another.
"Friends let their newly married friends enjoy marriage and don't seem to stay engaged in the friendship early on in marriage and that is a bummer," he says. "Don't be that friend."
Gross is encouraging people to keep in contact with their married friends. He explains that marriage is great, but "friendships are needed before marriage, during marriage, and later in life when a spouse is passed after marriage."
When babies start coming in, Gross says it is going to get even more difficult for married couples to think of their friends because they have "no time to even think about others," in between juggling work and parenthood.
But he believes people need to be intentional about their friendships. "Life is busy. Yeah, we all get that, but people need other people," he says. "Women need women in their lives. Men need men in their lives. Couples need couple friends in their lives. Families need family friends in their lives."
Not only is maintaining friendships important for husbands and wives' wellbeing, but Gross says this will set a good example to their children that all kinds of relationships matter.
"Your kids need you, but if all day every day is only about your kids you are in trouble," says Gross.
