'Why are you still single?' 12 comebacks to the world's most irritating question

Published 29 August 2014  |  

Like the mystery of a grand romance, singleness is just a thing – an often inexplicable part of life that many of us even enjoy. But it's hard to get that across in the already-awkward post church coffee chat. Instead, when the question comes, we're left fidgeting, blushing or apologising for our very existence.

So next time you get the question, instead of pretending your phone just rang or quietly fuming, why not try putting a few of these lines to the test?

1. My career's going really well, thank you for asking.

2. Because Bear Grylls is married.

3. I'm just really enjoying following God's plan for my life, and His ways are not our ways – you know?

4. Because once upon a time I was told to write a list of non-negotiables, and I'm struggling to find that Olympic athlete with an Oxbridge degree who loves the Lord.

5. Because I enjoy spending quality time with my duvet.

6. Because not having to explain yourself to someone is truly under-rated.

7. Because I'm a deeply troubled soul. Would you pray for me?

8. Because I belong to a generation that has sucked the meaning out of life in American teenage dramas with lengthy voiceovers that quote ee cummings a lot.

9. Because true love waits and waits and waits.

10. Because I kissed dating goodbye – and everything else too apparently.

11. Because Christian Mingle makes me think of a box of chocolates.

12. Because Jesus is my boyfriend.

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