Our relationships with each other aren't entirely dissimilar to the one that we have with God. Many of the tools we employ to encourage intimacy with one another – regular communication, spending time together and being emotionally open – can also be applied to our efforts to do the same with our heavenly Father.

So how can we put these transferable tools to work in our relationship with God? At this year's Hillsong Colour Conference, Pastor Robert Fergusson raised two issues that prevent us from doing this – not really knowing who God is and not knowing we are in relation to him. Below we'll look at how to over come these two problems and three other common obstacles to intimacy.

Who do you think you're talking to?
Knowing who we're talking to is an essential step in achieving intimacy in any relationship. As Christians we accept that God is our Father but in our approach to prayer this belief can sometimes go out the window. Beginning our prayers with words or phrases which express an understanding of who we're talking to can help us maintain a constant focus on this. God has many names, and referring to him by build up a better sense of who he is and his role in our lives. Why not beginning some of your prayers with Father so that from the outset you place your prayer within this framework. When we remind ourselves of who God is as we're talking and listening to Him, our prayers can develop into more intimate encounters.

Who are you in relation to who you're talking to?
Once we know who we're talking to we can then make sense of who we are in relation to that person and how we should approach them. In our everyday interactions, most of us adapt our conversation style depending on who we're talking to. The way we talk to our boss isn't the same way we talk to a child. Reminding ourselves during prayer that we're God's child, and he's the boss will help us achieve a better balance between asking for his intervention and listening to his instruction.

Meet with Him one-on-one
Our most intimate moments usually happen in private places, away from distractions and other people. In Matthew 6, Jesus gives instructions on private prayer. He urges his followers to pray alone so that their interactions with God are focused on Him, not other people. Spending time alone with God enables us to divert our full attention to Him. Let God command your full attention by scheduling in some one-on-one time with Him on a regular basis.

Let your guard down
Honesty is a key ingredient of intimacy. It's not rocket science that we can't develop an authentically intimate relationship with someone who we always have our barriers up with. Realising that prayer is a safe space in which we can express our most intense emotions to God and not hold back is a crucial part in the process. When we understand God, we can feel fully understood. Next time you prayer, why not use the opportunity to talk to God about whatever it is you're avoiding opening up about?

Listen
Betrayal is one of the biggest intimacy killers. When we feel that someone's let us down, we start to question our closeness to them, and their love for us. We can feel the same if we think that God's let us down. That's why it's so useful to work on the points above because by doing so we become more inclined to listen and less likely to misinterpret what he's saying to us. Why not try leaving silent periods in your prayers so that you get into the habit of actively listening to God?