What's the most important phrase that every parent must learn how to use? No, it's not "I told you so," or "do this," or "do that." I know how we parents love using those words.
But the one most important phrase we all need to learn how to say more is "I don't know."
One time when we were at my dad's place, my daughter got into trouble after slipping a pencil eraser into her nose after trying to use the pencil to "erase the boogers." I started panicking and so did everyone else who was around except my dad who was out at that moment. My wife then asked me a question that took me off guard, "What do we do?"
Guess what my answer was: "I don't know."
Fortunately my dad got back soon after, and you may not want to know what we had to do to take the eraser out of my daughter's nose.
But I have to admit, I handled that situation in the best way possible. Imagine if I was the father that pretended he knew what he was doing and did something that made matters worse (which I've done so many times before, too).
Often as parents, we feel the pressure of having to have all the answers to every parental problem. I've been ministering to spouses, businessmen, parents and even grandparents for a while now, but there are still times that I have to be honest and say, "I don't know" when I just don't have the answers. That takes humility, and I think humility is one character of parents that would address the lack of that courage to just admit that they don't know what to do sometimes, and that's okay.
1 Kings 17 tells us of a story of a widow who was at the end of her rope and had no clue what to do for her and her son to survive. She said to the prophet Elijah in verse 12, "As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. And now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die."
What was the woman doing? She wasn't being melodramatic. She was simply admitting that she had run out of options. That opened her up to a great miracle that God did through the prophet Elijah for her and her son, providing mightily after she admitted one simple truth: She didn't know what to do.
Are you facing a parenting situation when you just don't know what to do? Start with admitting that you're out of options and get help. Ask for someone to pray and minister to you and partner with the Holy Spirit in raising your children. We'll never get the help we need until we admit that we need help.
