It's almost expected for individuals to have preset notions of the person they will marry even before getting into dating. In fact, most people will already have some idea or another of their dream girl or dream boy even at an early age. But are we really destined to find the one?
I have to admit that my wife is nowhere close to the girl of my dreams. I always thought that I would marry someone like me- introverted, work-driven and boring, but I thank God that He spared me from that predicament. I firmly believe that if I had married someone like me, I would be dead meat by now. Instead, through God's grace I have married someone completely different, and I am forever grateful for my beautiful, extroverted, fun-loving and exciting wife, Ces.
Instead of focusing on finding our dream girl or dream man and all the notions that accompany that pursuit, here are some things we should be focusing on instead.
Not finding the one, but being found by the One. Here's the hard truth: Many young single professionals have made marriage an idol. There is too much focus on finding the one who will make our dreams come true and our life complete.
Guess what? You don't have to look for the one who will fill you up with so much love and overwhelm you with joy because He has already found you. And as you focus on God and seek His kingdom, will, power and righteousness, He will add EVERYTHING unto you.
Not what you want, but what God has in store. Isaiah 55:9 reminds us that, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." While finding your future husband or wife is not the primary context of this scripture, we can be rest assured that it applies to every area of life including courtship.
We may have our own picture of the perfect spouse and think we have it all figured out and sometimes some people do, but there is no better guarantee than trusting in God's will.
Not what you can get, but what you can give. If I had to summarise the whole of 1 Corinthians 13, I would say it this way- Love is not about what you can get, but what you must give. The fact of the matter is that we cannot give what we do not have so the season of singleness must be a time to relentlessly find ways to experience God's love and righteousness on a daily basis.
Marriage is not about giving love and expecting your spouse to return the favour. As service and reciprocity is important, it should never be our source of identity and fulfilment. Only Jesus can fill that void in you, most especially when you're married.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't marry the girl or man of your dreams nor am I implying that it's wrong to dream about your ideal spouse, but never let that get in the way of the even better person that God is reserving for you if He gives you a completely different person. God always knows best, and you will never regret His choices.
