Marriage is a totally dynamic relationship, wherein acts of love done for the beloved also benefit the lover. This truth is expressly displayed in how the Lord Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom, loves His bride, the church. According to Ephesians 5:25-30:
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body."
Loving your wife means loving yourself
Husbands are admonished to be like the Lord Jesus Christ in the way they would love their wives: sacrificial and intentional. Apparently that's not an easy thing to do, but it's what husbands should do. And when husbands do it, they also reap great benefits.
The Lord Jesus Christ intentionally showered love on the church so that He might sanctify, cleanse and prepare His bride for His return. When the time comes, the Lord will present to Himself a bride that is so glorious and purified – one that He will surely delight in. In fact, it's because of His desire to delight in His bride that He prepares her for that very time!
What about earthly husbands? If we say we love ourselves, we will do well to treat our wives with the kind of love that Jesus had. When we willingly give our privileges up so that we could prioritise our wives, it gives them a message that they matter more than our enjoyment. In fact, our enjoyment now becomes that of loving our wives! Not only do the daughters of God benefit, but we do, too.
Loving yourself means loving your wife
Think about it. If you want to have a great time with your wife, then take good care of her and give her a good time. If you want her to appreciate you more, then show her reasons to appreciate you more by treating her right. It's like the principle of sowing and reaping: the more love you sow, the more love you reap. On the other side of the coin, the more hate you give, the more hate you get back.
A word for the wives
We all know that husbands should love their wives like Christ loves the church. What about the wives? Ephesians 5:22-24 says:
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."
Wives, learn to respect and honour your husband. If he loves the Lord he will surely attempt to love you the same way Christ loves the church, but learn to make room for error, because no husband is perfect.
Ending remarks
Lastly, remember Ephesians 5:21, which says "[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ." Both the husband and the wife are to learn to submit to one another because of their love for Christ.
Sure, marriage isn't a fancy all-happy trip to dreamland. But when both the man and the woman love one another because of their love for Christ, it sure is a pursuit that's very fulfilling and rewarding.
