Love comes in the most unexpected places, but Christian singles have often been advised not to date non-believers because their faith might be compromised in the long run.
André Adefope, head of Relationship Development for Visible Ministries, wrote in an article for Christian Connection that it is wrong for Christians to ask if they should be dating non-believers.
Instead, they should ask themselves: "What kind of relationships do I want to build?" After which, they can decide if their romantic interest can help build that relationship — regardless of whether or not they are Christian.
"Many have probably been told by someone in the church that it's wrong, it's bad and they shouldn't do it. This probably made them feel guilty or feel bad," said Adefope. "But they want to be in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that. They also clearly want God to be involved, otherwise they wouldn't even be asking the question, they would just get on with it."
But Adefope said going out with a Christian does not necessarily guarantee that their relationship will honour God. He has witnessed a lot of Christian relationships head south because both partners just aren't well-suited and they have set a lot of unhealthy expectations.
"Dating a Christian isn't a pass to automatic dating happiness. And dating a non-Christian isn't a route to unthinkable dating horrors either. Honouring God requires a deeper question," he said.
Adefope said the Bible never talked about dating because it's written in an arranged marriage culture. However, the Bible does have a couple of things to say about intimate romantic relationships and marriage to non-believers. "While we can't just apply Bible verses about marriage to modern dating dilemmas, it can help us think through some helpful principles," he said.
The Apostle Paul talked about marriage as being above the culture in Ephesians 5:21-33. In it, Paul said husbands should lay down their lives for their family, while the wives should submit to their husbands. The only way this belief can be enforced is if spouses believe in Christ and His achievements.
"Paul realises it isn't black and white all the time, and God still wants to be involved in their relationship no matter what. However, Paul thinks the ideal for marriage is rooted in the couple's relationship with God," said Adefope.
Personally, Adefope thinks Jesus wants Christians to go deeper than the rules and laws when it comes to living for Him, including the area of relationships. He wants Christians to consider what their romantic partner's priorities are, and what are the things they hold dear in life.
"It becomes more than ticking the 'right' or 'wrong' box, and about preparing, with God in mind, how we can build something worth having with that potentially special someone," he said.
