We've all faced relational dysfunction in one way or another - offence, rebellion, abandonment, deceit and bitterness. Rest assured, you must know that God does not desire for you to be yoked in relational dysfunction here on earth. He wants to free you and He does so through the fullness that is in Jesus Christ.
Because God is love and because Jesus commands that we act in love towards God and one another, it is obvious that God values relational wholeness and means for you to thrive in it. Not only that, God has also made a way for you to experience freedom from bitterness and unforgiveness by forgiving us our sins so that we can forgive others as well.
In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus shares the story of a man who was forgiven of a heavy debt he had towards his master but could not forgive a friend of his who had a much smaller debt. In the end, Jesus concludes that this is not the way God works in the hearts of those whom He has redeemed through Christ's blood.
Apart from Christ, we are all hurt people with the tendency to only hurt others with our broken hearts, but when we abide in Christ, we receive His fullness and become channels of them. John 15:4 says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
If you've been living a life stuck under the lie that you need to remain bitter and unforgiving to protect yourself from the malice and corruption of other people, know that this mindset is a form of bondage and that it is only in Christ that we can find security and liberty from relational pain.
God wants to heal us of relational dysfunction and bring for a fullness in the area of relationship - forgiving the debts of others and forging strong and healthy relationships where Christ is the centre. John 13:35 says, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
When we submit ourselves to the brokenness of our relationships that have been born out of our own strength and our own selfish motives, we remain stuck in a relational hurt that cannot be healed on its own.
We need the presence of Christ as we abide in Him and seek Him first before any relationship and allow Jesus to enter our hearts and work through the pain and hurt so that we can, as a result of God's grace and mercy, love others more and more.
