Getting hurt by church members is more than just probable. It's very likely to happen. Every believer has experienced a certain level of offense from a church member or sometimes even from a church leader.
Whether it's because of tactlessness, gossip, differing opinions or not being there when you need someone most, we all have experienced a certain level of offese in church. I believe it must be said that to be hurt and offended in church is normal.
I'm not implying that church offense is a good thing (although character can indeed be tested in the midst of relationship issues) and that we should desire getting hurt by the church. It is also not God's will for anyone to be hurt by the church community.
But a church is full of imperfect, self-seeking, progressing people who can still make mistakes despite being Christian. Some may be legalistic while others too free-spirited, and it offends us. In all situations, we need to understand that no one is stainless when it comes to dishing out and receiving offense.
How do I recover from getting hurt by someone in my church community?
Stay
The hardest thing to do is to stay connected to the church community. Most people start running to the exits as soon as they get hurt, thinking that leaving their congregation altogether will solve everything.
Leaving a church is never a good option, especially if you have intentions of transferring to another church. Going from one congregation to another is pointless if it's based on church offense because you'll just get offended anywhere you go. Again no one is perfect -- no one from your church and no one from any other church.
Seek God's forgiving grace
When asked how many times we must forgive others, Jesus responds by saying in Matthew 18:22, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." It's not much the number but the resilience to constantly offer forgiveness.
God reminds us how important it is to forgive because the forgiveness we express toward others is a litmus test of the heart that shows whether we truly understand the offense we have caused God and the forgiveness He readily offered.
It's never easy to offer forgiveness right off the bat, but good news is we don't have to do it by our own strength. God gives us the grace to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us.
Seek restoration
A community cannot exist without the willingness to love unconditionally, and the thing about selfless love is that it will always lead to restoration. While not all relationships go back to the way they were, we can still experience individual restoration by the removal of guilt and bitterness.
God does not desire to build a bitter church, but a vibrant and lively church that is so strongly rooted in the foundation that is Christ that no level of hurt, unforgiveness or pain can break church communities apart.
