Offences normally come, even in the family of faith. What do we do when they come, most especially through the hands, feet, and lips of our brothers and sisters in Church?
God's part, our part
Because of sin, all of humankind is plagued with selfishness. Through the ages, we've seen how people – unredeemed, unrenewed, and without Christ – displayed selfishness, not bothering to think of others. Before we met Christ we were naturally drawn towards something that benefits or pleases us first, and others last.
It's only through Christ's finished work on the cross that we can be free from this sin.
The Lord Jesus Christ knows this. That's why He left us very important and precious instructions to follow by heart, mind, lips, and life—things that we need to do after He made us. Here are some of them:
• "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)
• "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. Whoever would be great among you, let him serve you, and whoever would be first among you, let him be your slave, even as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many." (see Matthew 20:25-28)
• "This is My commandment: that you love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:12-13)
Those commands sure are hard to follow, right? But the truth is, Jesus didn't leave us powerless to do them. He first showered us with grace and love through His life and death on the cross. He then gave us hope, and justified us in His resurrection. He sent to us the Holy Spirit to dwell in us and empower us to live as His co-heirs, co-workers, and representatives here on earth while He sits continually interceding for us at the Father's right hand.
Think about that. Because we're in a highly-privileged position in Christ, we cannot afford not to work hard to be like Him. And one of the areas we need to work at as we grow in Him is the area of facing critics and handling offences.
Living under grace
Christ is the best example how to respond when we are offended especially by fellow Christians. Here's how Christ responded. Let's learn from Him.
1. Don't get carried away and retaliate when you are offended
"Then the high priest stood up and said to Him, 'Do You answer nothing? What is it these men testify against You?' But Jesus remained silent." (see Matthew 26:62-63)
Jesus remained silent even though He was falsely accused. No matter what slanderous accusation might be thrown at us, we must not retaliate in anger. Rather, let's hold our peace and avoid sinning with our tongues.
2. Forgive your offender and offer them to God
"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.' And they divided His clothes by casting lots." (see Luke 23:34)
Release forgiveness as soon as you can. Don't let bitterness grow in your heart
3. Do what is right, and release love and grace
"Then he said to Jesus, 'Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.' Jesus said to him, 'Truly, I tell you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.'" (Luke 23:42-43)
The thief in the story realised his mistakes and asked for Jesus' forgiveness. If you choose to confront your offender, do so in an act of love and grace. If your offender asks forgiveness, then forgive. Do what pleases God.
BONUS: Be wise in your dealings with people who offended you
Keep in mind that you can avoid being offended by being wise in dealing with people. While some offence will inevitably come, it would be wise to take care and avoid offensive people unless necessary (such as witnessing to them). Be wise like serpents yet harmless as a dove (see Matthew 10:16).
Jesus Himself was wise in dealing with people. Let's learn from Him.
