"Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honourable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." – Romans 12:17-18
Are you confused about what being "at peace" with your enemies truly mean? If you are, then you're not alone. Many people also have the wrong notion about it.
What Living in Peace With Everyone Means
The Merriam-Webster dictionary, written by a Christian named Noah Webster, defines being "at peace" as being "in a state of concord or tranquility." Based on this definition, we can determine what living in peace with everyone, including our enemies, means.
Being "at peace" with your enemies means forgiving them and releasing their offences to God.
The Bible instructs us to forgive those who offend us. The forgiveness that we release in obedience to God sets our hearts and minds free from the hurt and the pain of the offence we have received. When we forgive those who offend us, we no longer allow the hurt to get the best of us, thereby releasing ourselves from the weight that easily entangles us. (see Hebrews 12:1)
Being "at peace" with your enemies means not holding a grudge against them.
When we strive to be at peace with our enemies, it means not holding a grudge against them. While we can choose to withhold ourselves from putting our trust in them because of the hurt they caused us, we should never hold a grudge against them.
A grudge is defined as "a feeling of deep-seated resentment or ill will" towards a person. When we bear grudges against our enemies, we will never be able to love them the way Christ wants us to (see Matthew 5:44). We will treat them hypocritically. The solution here is to truly forgive them.
Being "at peace" with your enemies, however, doesn't mean being friends with them again.
One thing that many Christians should understand, though, is that when we work to be at peace with our enemies, it doesn't mean being friends with them and being one with them again. No, being at peace with them simply means not holding a grudge against them for what they have done (see Luke 6:28).
Not holding a grudge doesn't mean allowing them to hurt you again. It also doesn't mean reconciling with them so that you can be friends and do things together again. Friendship with them is optional, but forgiving them and releasing their offence is essential (see Matthew 6:14-15).
Have You Been Hurt Lately?
Friends, don't burden yourself with the lie that you have to be friends with everyone. Being at peace with everyone simply means not hurting anybody and not harbouring hatred, grudges, and unforgiveness towards another. Be friends with God, and let your relationship with Him help you choose who to befriend.
