The recent Theos report – Passing on Faith – helpfully draws together research on faith and families, all of which shows the powerful impact that Christian parents can have in 'passing on the faith.'
While this is great news, the author notes that many Christian parents don't see this as a priority. Some see the faith of their children as the responsibility of others, while others fear their child will be alienated from their peers if brought up as a Christian.
Having interviewed a number of families on how they pass on faith in the home, here are six things I've found helpful for encouraging Christian parents in this area.
1. God calls us to pass on the faith
Modelling and teaching faith in the home is something that God calls us to do. Passages like Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and Ephesians 6:4 emphasise the role of parents in passing on the faith, and church leaders throughout history have driven the point home.
One example is that of the great American theologian Jonathan Edwards. Writing in the 18th century, Edwards encouraged each Christian family to be, "as it were a little church", and explained that what happens in the family is a "chief means of grace," a way in which God shapes our children to grow in Christ. God, of course, is the one who gives the gift of faith, but God works through parents as they seek to model and teach faith in the home.
2. We're passing on something!
While some secularists naïvely believe that they're raising their children 'neutrally,' it's impossible to be 'neutral' when it comes to passing on our values and faith. If we don't teach our kids about faith, we're telling them – in a silence louder than words – that faith really isn't that important.
If, however, we believe that knowing Jesus is the treasure above all else, then we need to be intentional in helping our kids discover this truth. As the Theos report makes clear, the way we live our Christian lives, and what we say about faith, have a profound influence on our children's developing faith.
3. Faith is caught...
As any parent knows, our children observe us all the time and often 'mirror back' the habits and practices we reveal each day. When it comes to faith, children will be impacted by parents who are passionate about Jesus, who spend time in prayer and with Scripture, and who serve others sacrificially.
The Theos report also notes that children can also be put off Christianity by parents who 'talk the talk' without living a life that's consistent with their faith. This doesn't mean that parents need to be perfect, but it does mean that parents need to be growing in their own faith too.
4. ... and faith is taught
The sociologist of religion Christian Smith has observed that parents and church leaders have often neglected to teach their kids the faith, but if kids are not taught about Christianity at home or church then they'll be taught about it elsewhere. The 'teaching' of faith involves not just doctrine but also practices, things like praying, reading Scripture, and serving the poor.
We can 'teach' our kids about these things by doing them with them. Having regular family worship or devotions is one way that such teaching takes place, where parents and children can talk to God together and be nourished by the words of Scripture.
5. You're not alone
While our biological families are important, God has also called us into a new family, the church. This is our 'first family', the place where we find other brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, dads, mums, and grandparents, and where together we seek to nurture and support the children in our midst.
Raising kids is hard, and raising kids for a life of faith is perhaps even more challenging in today's changing times. But when we seek to nurture our children's faith as an entire church, we have the best chance of seeing it grow.
6. Your children are in God's hands
In all that Christian parents do, the lives of our children are ultimately in God's hands, not our own. Parents who faithfully teach and model faith at home raise kids who wander from the church, while others come to faith from homes without any Christian influence at all.
Nonetheless, Christian parents are called to be faithful to the God who has granted them the gift of children, sharing with those closest to home – those within our homes – the transforming love of God.
Ed Mackenzie is a discipleship development officer for the Methodist Church, an associate lecturer at Cliff College, and the co-author (with Gareth Crispin) of Together with God: Introducing Family Worship (Morse-Brown Publishing, 2016), www.togetherwithGod.org.uk. He lives in Derbyshire with his wife and their two sons.
