I have to admit one of my biggest mistakes in life. Early on in my marriage, I was terrible at communicating with my wife, which is ironic given the number of times I have preached, taught and shared the gospel and various ideas in my life to other people due to the nature of my profession.
We can blame biology all we want (we are told that women are from Venus and men are from Mars), but what we need to understand is that we have to do something about our failure to communicate with our spouse.
Communication is one of the most important factors to a flourishing marriage. The level at which we communicate with our spouse will determine how much of a blessing we will be to each other and to other people around us as well. Many times the adjustment will have to start with the husband (since we all know women don't have problems saying things).
In my own married life, I have found five simple statements that can be more than helpful in experiencing the best that marriage can offer when communicated on a regular basis. Let me share them with you today:
1. 'I Love You'
Let's start with the most obvious. Often, we think that because love is to be a given in a marriage that we don't need to communicate it. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If there's anything we should communicate most it's our love for our spouse. Let's follow God's example as Romans 5:8 says, "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
2. 'Good Morning/Good Night!'
Here's another seemingly obvious but quickly neglected statement that should be communicated daily. How many couples do you know go about their days separately without even taking the time to greet each other in the morning or in the evening? A husband and wife becomes "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24) and that means every day now starts and ends with each other.
3. 'God Is In Control'
Marriage can get rough. Life can get rough. And the reality is that couples face everything together — good things and bad things. And while we may not always be in control over circumstances, God is. The best person to remind you of that is the person you are with — your spouse.
4. 'I Need Your Help'
Marriage is a partnership where a husband and wife co-labour in everything. Yes, we might have different and unique callings, but God causes our paths to intersect at many points, some of which include building the same home, raising the same children, and being a blessing to the same community. Communicating to each other that we need each other's help helps us live with that understanding.
5. 'What Do You Think?'
Much like the third statement, this one aims to build collaboration between husband and wife. Because marriage is a partnership, each one's opinion matters just as much as the other. Sure, the husband might be the head, but that doesn't give him two votes.
