We've all said a thing or two that we thought was harmless or justified, only to feel bad about it later or even see some negative consequences. It happens in every area of life and very easily happens in parenting. I believe that being a parent is not something we have all figured out and most definitely something we are never fully prepared for.
We've all heard what experts say about kids and how to raise them, and while a lot of the lessons, practices and principles out there are good and helpful, not all of them are. Here are five things that Christians should stop saying about parenting.
"It's hard."
Not to say that parenting is a piece of cake. Most definitely parenting is hard. I only have one daughter so far and already I feel like it's something I cannot take (although I still hope for two more!). But sometimes parents can sometimes say it in a tone that makes kids appear like burdens even when they often don't mean to.
Psalm 127:3 reminds us, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."
"My kids are dependent upon my success"
We might sometimes bustle out parenting styles and do everything we possibly can for our kids thinking that their success, growth and development is up to us. I thank God that it's not, because if it were, I would have failed my daughter big time by now. While I do give my best to provide, nurture and train my child, I know that her success is always more heavily determined by God's grace and that assures me.
"There's nothing wrong with my kids"
We like acting as if our children are little angels that are spotless and perfect, but the truth is that they're sinners just like you and me. When we understand this, we actually take the pressure off them to be perfect all the time and to understand that they need God's grace just as much as we do.
"All kids are the same"
There is never a "one size fits all" attempt to parenting. We can't expect the kids of our friends to be raised the same way ours are. The same goes true for your own kids even. Your eldest son and youngest daughter will be different from one another and your approach should change as well. Don't try and fit them into a cookie-cutter parenting style. Instead, engage their world first, and then bring them to yours.
"I can't blow it."
There is often an unrealistic expectation put on parents to be perfect and to do things the right way all the time. The greatest revelation for me as a parent is that I can be a terrible dad at times. That makes me thankful that we all have a loving Heavenly Father who compensates for our shortcomings and who shows Himself to be perfect in our weakness.
