The job of ministry calls for a greater level of effectiveness of relationships. In any other profession, things still work out even if relationships are fraught. In ministry, however, all activity seems to come to a halt when the pastor's relationships are broken.
We may not see it in the way he or she preaches, but it becomes evident in the way affairs are administrated, money is handled and discipleship groups are conducted. Relationship health is important in ministry.
In 1 Timothy 3:2-7, we see the list of qualifications Paul gives to pastors (who were at that time called overseers). Most of the qualifications given by the apostle were actually more relationship-driven than skill-driven -- must have one wife, obedient children, good relationships with church members and outsiders, zero arrogance and so on.
God places a very heavy weight on relationship health for people who are called to full-time ministerial work. Here are four relationships that all pastors and church leaders must maintain in good health.
Relationship with family
1 Timothy 3:4-5 tells us that overseers "...must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church."
A pastor's first importance here on earth will be his relationship with his wife and children. It's sad today seeing church leaders who neither have the time nor energy to build quality memories with their families because of the weight of ministry.
Relationship with God
1 Timothy 3:6 says, "He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil." The most important relationship a pastor must have is his relationship with God.
And though we may think that this is a given, many pastors have abandoned personal devotions for the sake of pastoring duties and sermon preparations. Ministry is not God, and preparing to minister is far different from communing with God.
Relationship with the world
As important as relationships with church members are, a pastor must also have a conduct that blesses non-members of his congregation as well. How sad it is to see pastors who conduct themselves on the pulpit, but are hardly recognizable in restaurants, car parks, malls and public venues.
1 Timothy 3:7 says, "Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil."
Relationship with an apostolic body
Paul's charge to Timothy was an apostolic one, and a vital one to say the least. It can be hard leading a congregation when you have no one to follow. It can be extremely beneficial for church leaders to create an apostolic body which will be an avenue to be fed as we feed hundreds if not thousands on a weekly basis.
