Husbands have the greatest opportunity to grow in love through their relationship with their wives. Apparently it's not an easy thing to love our wives as Christ loved the church, but we can inch our way there and grow into that kind of love by the grace of God.
I've been married for only a year and a half, but I'm pretty sure that the areas that I've struggled to grow in as a husband is pretty similar to the areas that all husbands need to grow in as well. After all, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience," says Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13. I hope to encourage you.
Here are some areas where we husbands need to grow in to show love to our wives.
1. Listening
All of us men need to learn to listen to our wives. I thought I was doing a pretty good job here, but I was wrong. I realised that it's not just about listening to your wife. It's about hearing and understanding her.
Peter reminds us to "Treat your wife with understanding as you live together" (1 Peter 3:7). It's going to take us more than just listening to her as she tells us her struggles, worries and pains. We're going to need our heart to understand her and know what she really needs.
2. Thinking right things
No, I'm not talking about thinking of your wife and remembering to bring home her favourite pack of chocolate chip cookies paired with a tub of vanilla ice cream (although that would make her very happy). I'm talking about what we fill our minds with every day.
We could choose to fill our minds with unnecessary things. We could also choose to fill our minds with filth. But when we choose to do both of these, we can't expect ourselves to be saying, doing and living right with our wives. After all, it's "garbage in, garbage out" as the computer programming people say.
Friends, choose to think of the right things. Think about what God wants for your marriage. Think about what God wants you to do as a husband. There are loads of Scripture verses that we can meditate on. When we meditate on these, it would also help us in how we take care of our wives and marriages (see Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:1-2).
3. Faithfulness
Faithfulness doesn't only mean avoiding and staying away from adulterous relationships (yes, that must be a priority). It also means pressing on and into your wife.
The Bible teaches us that we should love our wives as Christ loved the church (see Ephesians 5:25-26). He became human so that He could identify with us, and we could identify with Him. He limited Himself with our limitations so that He could set us free from that which limits us from loving and serving God.
Ultimately, He took upon Himself all our sin, shame and guilt so that we could be free to become God's children. And His work doesn't end there because He continues to intercede for us (see Hebrews 7:25).
Like Christ, we should learn to relentlessly pursue our wives with much love and faithfulness. Set your eyes on her and never stop loving her. Funny how a sign from one of the fast food restaurants in my place explains this point: "Keep your eye on your valuables."
Our wives should be very precious and very valuable to us. Let's keep our eyes on them – and them alone.
