'It is because of God's amazing grace that we stand here,' declares Tammye (who insists that you call her Momma Tammye) as she stands in the newly designed church community hall in her town in Georgia, USA. 'Even before you were formed in your mother's womb, he knew you,' she says to the team that assembled the hall.
There is one twist about this team of church renovators; they are not a team of local churchgoers or Christians on a mission trip to Georgia, they are five gay men who are the stars of Netflix's hit show Queer Eye.
Queer Eye centres around these men – the Fab Five – who are tasked with making over someone who has got into bad habits about their clothing, food, apartment and usually their sense of self. While this show fits the typical makeover show format it always packs an emotional punch, tackling unhealthy stereotypes of masculinity, encouraging emotional expression and focusing on the person's sense of self and authenticity.
Momma Tammye is not only unusual in being the first woman to be made over but she is also a devout Christian with a gay son. What ensues in this episode is amazing love and acceptance between LGBT+ people and the Christian community: something that is rarely seen, on or off screen.
Two people help us navigate the tensions and difficulties between these two communities: Myles, Momma Tammye's gay son, and Bobby, one of the Fab Five who grew up in a deeply religious community.
When the Fab Five arrive at Momma Tammye's church, they explore it with glee and fascination – all of them, that is, except for Bobby, who sits outside.
Bobby tells us that growing up, [Christianity] was my life' and that every Sunday he would beg 'to God to not make me gay. Once everyone found out who I was, they turned their backs on me.'
His words sting. They sting because many LGBT+ people, unfortunately, will know this rejection and those who grew up in the church may still walk around with that pain; the pain that makes Bobby promise himself that he 'wouldn't step foot in the church... [because] I was so hurt'.
And yet, while this rejection and alienation is so deeply rooted, it is a powerful testimony to the LGBT+ community that they are willing to reach out and take part in the redesigning of this church community centre, or as Bobby puts it, 'a 50-year dream being built by a bunch of gays'.
An equally powerful testimony to the Christian community is the way Momma Tammye recounts asking her son for forgiveness for not loving him unconditionally when he came out. Antoni of the Fab Five is visibly moved by the story of forgiveness, how her son had already forgiven her for the hurt caused and talks about how despite thinking her faith told her to judge gay people, 'she saw the individual and she saw the person who her son is – and she changed her mind'.
Momma Tammye, who by the end of the show has now labelled herself 'Foxy Momma', displays the grace of God in how she throws open her home to five gay men – again, something rarely seen in our churches or on TV – and while the Fab Five are tasked with encouraging her, she takes her opportunity at the end of the episode to encourage them.
She tells each of them to continue to use the gifts God gave them for good and confers honour and dignity on them.
At this point, I admit, I had to pause it – I broke because I wish that was more LGBT+ people's experience with the church; I broke because I have never seen a group of five gay men be told that they were part of God's plan, that they were known in their mother's womb before they were born. To see a Christian quoting scripture at LGBT+ people to build them up, not tear them down is a powerful vision of the redemption we can live out.
The episode ends with Momma Tammye speaking at her church and puts it better than I ever could:
'This week we worked with the Fab Five for the community centre. These are five gifted men who are gay and through the course of the week we were able to build some relationships. That's what it's about: building relationships. They share with me how they have been just torn down and rejected in the church that has turned their backs on them.
'How can I say I love God when I cannot love the ones who are right there next to me?'
Momma Tammye's journey and the compassion of the Fab Five remind us that Christianity is more than the warm feelings even a feel-good show like Queer Eye can display. It is a call to true love – love for our enemies and love for the stranger – because at the end of the day we were once strangers from God and have been welcomed back in through the grace of the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus, his son.
Recently it was Pride – a celebration of the LGBT+ community's identity in the face of continued rejection and persecution – and I hope Momma Tammye's words stand as a challenge to reach out to your LGBT+ friends and listen to their stories, do some reading (or watching of Queer Eye) and love those who are right there next to you.
Donnchadh Greene is a human rights legal adviser in London.
