Open Doors partner Tirham, whose name has been changed for security reasons, counsels Nigerian women and girls who have survived the trauma of being kidnapped and raped by Boko Haram. As government and faith leaders gather in London for a major conference on religious freedom violations, Tirham speaks to Christian Today about the terrifying reality for women and girls in Nigeria.
CT: What kind of threats are Christian women and girls in Nigeria facing at the moment?
Tirham: There have been attacks, kidnappings and killings. When women and girls are kidnapped and taken to the camps, most of them are raped and gang raped repeatedly. When they come back to their communities, their lives have been destroyed so they find it difficult to cope and reintegrate.
Sometimes because of the stigma, it's difficult for the girls to get married so they just marry anyone who will take them. Some of them have to drop out of school because their parents have sold virtually everything to pay the ransom.
I know of one family who sold everything they had and borrowed money from their community to pay the ransom for their two daughters. The girls were held for three weeks and were raped repeatedly. When they were released, the parents weren't able to pay back the debt and they felt so ashamed so they fled and the girls were left behind; it destroyed the family.
CT: Do women and girls live in fear of this happening to them?
Tirham: Yes, the fear is so strong and they live with it every day. They fear that they will be next. I know of one community that cannot even move freely to the city, they can only move at a certain time and with security.
CT: And some girls are never released?
Tirham: Some girls are killed after being raped. Some are held as sexual slaves or domestic slaves. Others are married off to Boko Haram fighters and have children with them.
CT: How do you counsel survivors who have been freed or managed to escape?
Tirham: We run trauma healing sessions that combine psychological help with Biblical principles. We let them know that God still loves them whatever has happened to them, that they are not devalued but God still values them.
When they come to the centre, they have all the signs of trauma. They can't sleep at night because they are so scared, they isolate themselves, and some are suicidal. They don't trust anybody anymore and they feel so much hate towards the perpetrators.
Over five days, we walk with them and help them to talk about their pain because the first step in healing is to be able to talk about it and not bottle it up. They learn about the forgiveness of God so that they can forgive the perpetrators. The forgiveness is not so much about releasing the perpetrators from the consequences of what they've done but it's about the women having inner peace so that they have a hope of moving on.
CT: It must be a long-term process?
Tirham: Yes, it is a process and it takes a long time so three months later, the girls come back for a follow-up to continue the healing.
CT: What kind of action, if any, is the Nigerian government taking to stop this violence against women and girls?
Tirham: Right now, I can't see that they are doing very much. Many people don't even report kidnapping cases to the police anymore because it just costs them more money to get the police to investigate or pursue the kidnappers. So instead they just try to find money to pay off the kidnappers. Earlier this year, four pastors were kidnapped along with two of their wives and a child in Niger State. To this day, they are still with their kidnappers. The kidnappers have asked for money and the community raised the money to give them but they have still refused to release them and one of the pastors was killed. So the Nigerian government is not doing enough.
CT: You are in London for the UK government's ministerial on religious freedom. What message are you bringing?
Tirham: We want people to be aware of what is happening in Nigeria and to pressure the Nigerian government to act to stop the carnage of killings, kidnappings and rape.
