A bioethicist has warned that the absence, silence and failure of men have played a major role in the growth of abortion culture, arguing that men must recover their responsibility as fathers, protectors and witnesses to the dignity of life.
Delivering the opening keynote address at the March for Life UK Men’s Conference, Dr Anthony McCarthy said that discussions around abortion often overlook the role of men, despite the profound impact fathers can have both before and after a pregnancy.
“In the whole abortion debate, there’s a lot of silence,” he said. “Men and abortion is an area that is even more silenced than many of the other areas connected with women and abortion, which are silenced.”
Dr McCarthy, founder and director of Bios Centre, argued that modern abortion culture has been shaped not only by political and legal changes, but also by a deeper cultural shift that separates sex from commitment, fatherhood and family responsibility.
Dr McCarthy argued that the family should be viewed not simply as a private arrangement between individuals, but as a foundational institution that serves the common good.
“What is served is not only an individual woman and child, but a whole institution of which we are a part, the institution known as the family,” he said.
He warned that modern society increasingly treats marriage and family life as contractual relationships between autonomous individuals rather than as the natural basis of society.
“One advantage of taking the family structure seriously is that as a model for society, it protects against the extremes of individualism and collectivism through its attention to the person,” he said.
Dr McCarthy said that in a culture shaped by individual autonomy, pregnancy is often treated as a disruption rather than the natural fruit of love, commitment and self-giving.
He continued, “Unfortunately, we live in a culture influenced by political theories which have attempted to reshape the family according to an idea that the basic unit of society is something called a free, rational individual.
“The move to reimagine the family in individualized terms and reshape marriage, now genderless, in terms of a readily dissolved contract, reveals how political theory has often seen the family as a problem, something to be demystified or undermined.
“The idea that the family is the natural unit of society to which other human associations are added has often given way to the idea that the family is a contractual relationship of free, rational beings which occupies no special position in a modern, liberal society.”
A major theme of his address was a critique of modern ideas of freedom that prioritise individual choice above relationships, responsibilities and moral obligations.
Drawing on the writings of St Augustine, he argued that genuine freedom requires self-control and virtue rather than the unrestricted pursuit of personal desires.
He suggested that contemporary culture increasingly treats emotions such as shame and guilt as obstacles to self-realisation, while virtues such as chastity are often viewed negatively.
Dr McCarthy challenged cultural narratives that present abortion simply as a matter of choice, saying that such language can obscure pressure, coercion and abandonment.
He pointed to research suggesting that many women face pressure to abort from partners or others around them and warned that male silence can itself leave women feeling unsupported.
“The threat of abandonment or even coldness on the part of the father may be enough to change her mind,” he said.
He added that some men may believe they are helping by deferring entirely to the woman’s decision but may unintentionally communicate a lack of support for having the child.
Dr McCarthy also questioned arguments that abortion is necessary to secure equality between men and women.
He argued that such reasoning often assumes a male model of freedom, one defined by detachment from the consequences of sexual activity.
According to Dr McCarthy, women are increasingly expected to overcome or suppress the very biological realities that distinguish them from men in order to achieve equality.
“To accept such a picture is effectively to encourage the manifest injustice women experience who do look for support in their pregnancy,” he said.
Dr McCarthy said men can also experience grief, guilt and trauma after abortion, though this is often socially unrecognised.
He described this as “disenfranchised grief”, saying men are frequently expected to remain silent before an abortion and show no emotional response after it.
“A father is a father forever, even of a dead unborn child,” he said, quoting one commentator.
He argued that society places contradictory expectations on fathers.
“If his child is allowed to live … he will be expected to step up to the plate and become a loving, caring and responsible father,” Dr McCarthy said. “If, on the other hand, it is decided that his child is to be destroyed, he should be able to go about his life as if nothing had happened.”
Towards the conclusion of his address, McCarthy criticised what he described as an overly narrow focus on autonomy within abortion debates.
He argued that decisions cannot be understood in isolation from their consequences for mothers, fathers and unborn children.
“If we value choices without reference to the good or bad things that might be chosen, then it becomes impossible to see why choice should be so valuable in the first place,” he said.
“Nothing could be more patronising to both men and women than to suggest that the most important thing about the abortion decision is autonomy and not what that decision truly involves.”
He concluded by calling for a renewed recognition of the real people involved in abortion decisions: mothers, fathers and unborn children.
“By reminding ourselves of the flesh and blood human beings involved, be they mothers, fathers, or unborn children, and what parenthood demands, we welcome back reality into this area of life,” he said.
The conference also heard from John Deighan, chief executive of the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children, who said that fathers have a vital role in forming children who can resist cultural messages that undermine the dignity of human life.
He urged parents to recognise the power of media, entertainment and slogans in shaping young people’s moral instincts.
“There is a tide trying to take them in a particular direction,” he said. “So, you need to realise: how does that tide work and how am I going to resist it?”
Deighan said fathers must be credible witnesses in the home, not merely people who repeat moral rules.
“Children can sense if there’s a lack of authenticity,” he said. “You need to be authentic in your witness.”
He encouraged fathers to teach their children that every human being has dignity, warning that societies throughout history have justified grave injustices by treating some people as less than fully human.
Deighan further stressed the importance of protecting childhood innocence and helping children understand relationships and sexuality in ways that are appropriate to their stage of development.
He argued that much of modern culture exposes children to sexualised ideas and imagery at an early age, and encouraged parents to approach such conversations with sensitivity and care.
The SPUC chief said the pro-life cause is not only a political struggle but also a spiritual one that requires fathers to cultivate a serious spiritual life and to model integrity, commitment and respect within their families.
“We’re in the middle of a spiritual battle,” he said. “If you’re going to challenge that, then you’ve got a fight on your hands.”
The conference formed part of March for Life UK’s wider effort to encourage men to take greater responsibility in building a pro-life culture, particularly through fatherhood, family life and public witness.
