The call to ministry is a risky task in that it heavily involves the affairs of the family. No one expects the wife of a business manager or CEO to get involved in the decision making and office affairs of her husband.
For pastor's wives, however, much can often be expected, and as wonderful as that is given that the call to be the pillar of a minister is a privilege in itself church congregations may fall in the trap of expecting too much from the wives of their spiritual leaders.
Most pastor's wives will admit that there is a lot of pressure on their part when it comes to feeding and leading a flock, but that can be kept at a minimum if the members play their part as well. Here are five things that we can do to protect their pastor's wives from unnecessary ministry pressure.
Clarify if she's a volunteer or paid staff
Some churches pay their pastor's wives to be administrators or ministers while some remain as volunteer staff of the church. Both cases must be treated differently and less must be expected of wives if they are just volunteers. There's nothing selfish and worldly about not committing to church ministry eight to ten hours a day because you're just a volunteer. We don't expect that from church volunteers so why should we expect it from pastor's wives?
Do not pressure her kids either
The way to a woman's heart is her children, and pastor's wives are no exemption. When the children of clergymen feel the pressure, the mother will feel it as well. Putting too much stereotype, expecting them to be perfect, making a fuss about seeing them in a local record store picking out "worldly music" will soon get to their mothers.
Do not ask her to oppose her husband
It's awfully funny and annoying when church elders or deacons try to get a hold of their pastor's neck through their wife. When he refuses to put funds into this affair or approve a ministry event, the next option would be to tell his wife to "talk to him about it." God has made it clear in Mark 10:9 that "what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."
Understand that she isn't perfect
Your pastor's wife is no different from you and me. She struggles with her calling, battles with the same thoughts and longs for the same ambitions for her family. She isn't a special kind of human being with thicker skin and more invulnerability to gossip. Treat the pastor's wife just as you would treat any other member of the church.
Cover her in prayer
This remains to be the most important action we can take to protect the wives of our pastors. When the church stops covering the family of their church leaders, they open them up to all kinds of spiritual attack that could hurt our leaders. Taking one time slot at least once a week to intercede for your pastor, his wife and their children will go a longer way than a strategic meeting.
