When is the right time to court and get married?

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Many single men and women out there want to know when is the right time to enter courtship and eventually, marry. They're excited to know the one person God has for them, and are even more excited to spend the rest of their lives with their future spouse.

That's exciting alright, but to be honest there's no age that's best. It depends on you as a person and the answer to this question:

Are you ready for it?

When maturity is far away

Marriage is not a joke, nor is it done on a whim. It's totally unlike Bruno Mars' song where he says he wants to marry someone because he's "looking for something dumb to do." It's not like that.

Marriage is sacred and requires maturity. Nobody should enter in it without thinking and preparing for it. Sadly, many people today do act foolishly when it comes to marriage.

This is why we are told,

"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." (Song of Solomon 8:4)

Some people take marriage lightly. They find someone they like, and without so much as considering what it takes, decide to tie the knot. And when the real challenges of marriage come, they decide to divorce as quickly as they did to marry.

Friend, are you longing to marry? If so, you shouldn't be hasty. You should be ready.

Preparing for marriage

All single men and women longing to marry need to prepare for it, and preparing for marriage takes more than just learning how to be romantic. It's more than that.

Here are some areas you need to grow in when it comes to marriage.

1) Submission to God

Did you know that your submission and obedience to God is crucial to a successful marriage? If you are not able to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Christ, then marriage will be very difficult for you.

Why is that, you might ask? Well, the Bible tells all husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church, and it also tells all wives to respect and submit to their husbands like the church submits to Christ (see Ephesians 5). Unless we learn to obey God fully, we won't be able to do that.

2) Self-denial

In marriage, you will need to learn to put your own wants in the backseat as you focus on your spouse's needs. You will need to put his or her needs in the priority list, replacing your personal wants like time with friends and other things. Your spouse is top priority.

That said, you've got to master the difficult discipline of self-denial.

3) Maturity in all areas

While many singles out there think of marriage as a romantic stage of life where all you do is get chummy and sweet towards each other, not as many see marriage as a huge responsibility to God, the spouse, and the self.

While God is your Father, you need to realize that He's also the Father of the person you are going to marry. Thus, He will check on you, and will hold you to account. When the time comes, we will have to face God for how we treated our spouses:

  • Men, are you willing to work hard and provide for your spouse? Are you willing to let go of all friendships with other women to protect your wife's heart and your marriage with her? Are you willing to forsake all others?
  • Women, are you willing to be content with what your husband brings, and even work if it's not enough? Are you willing to be patient with your husband, and avoid complaining and nagging when problems arise? Are you willing to love and respect Him regardless of His success or failure?

You need to grow in maturity when it comes to marriage. We should be able to do what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:11, saying:

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

In conclusion

In closing, guys, we need to prepare for marriage. We need to grow in maturity. We need to grow closer to the Lord in order to know if we're ready for marriage. He knows when we are ready, and He knows when we are not.

"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled." (Hebrews 13:4)

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