I like many others have been wholeheartedly praying for Olive to wake up - the two-year-old daughter of Bethel worship leader Kalley Heiligenthal who tragically died a few days ago.

Do I believe this could happen? A hundred per cent. But I also understand that she may not, and the pain hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of other parents feel when they are acutely aware that their child stayed sleeping, that their child didn't come back to life.  Like them, I too have walked this path.

When my daughter Darcey was pronounced dead in my womb, I prayed over my stomach for a week, begging Jesus to heal her. I commanded her heart to beat again in Jesus' precious name. I sobbed. I begged. I held onto Jesus' coattails. I too worshipped him through the agony, not to earn a miracle but because I didn't know what else to do, so I gravitated to the one thing that makes me feel less alone and brought me closer to Heaven.

My child didn't awaken.

So should we not ask for a miracle if we are going to be heartbroken if it doesn't come? I believe we should, as the Bible tells us to ask for what we want and need.

Should we not rally the world to pray, if by the miracle not happening, it could cause disbelief in both believers and unbelievers? Should we not hold onto every bit of faith we have, in case ourselves or others then feel the weight of disappointment if the miraculous isn't seen?

Again, I believe this is a very personal choice, but I do know something very beautiful happens when we pray.

As we pray, we draw nearer to Jesus. As we pray together, we are brought closer to one another. As we cry out for the same thing, we are reminded that we are all part of one family.

So if the miracle doesn't come, does that mean we serve an uncompassionate God? Well if I believed this, I would certainly not call myself a Christian. Death and sickness happen because of the fall; it wasn't part of the great plan. We are not puppets on strings, and our faith does not give us a fast pass to bypass trauma and death.

So when my miracle doesn't arrive in a way I prayed for it to arrive, it doesn't shake my belief. It doesn't make me question God's inherent goodness.

Is there anything unhealthy about seeking a miracle? No.  But there can be unhealthy teaching.

Anything that tells us that God doesn't allow people to suffer is wrong. Anything that says a person is responsible for the death or illness is wrong. Anything that teaches us the miracle doesn't happen due to a lack of faith, or not enough prayer or petitioning is wrong.

The fact is, no one knows why some people are healed, and others aren't, but miracles are certainly not earned, deserved or granted on the mega blessed. When they aren't experienced, it can be truly heartbreaking, which is
why healthy pastoring is vital, and families then need to be supported through the grief cycle.

Nonetheless, until all hope is gone, I will pray. I will believe. I will cry out for a miracle.  And if one doesn't come, I will wrap my arms around the heartbroken and love them through the loss. Throughout it all, I will praise the one I call Father because He is still good.

Zoe Clark-Coates is International CEO and founder of the Mariposa Trust, which supports those who have lost a baby in pregnancy or infancy. Follow her on Twitter @clarkcoates.