Marriage not for everyone: One of 3 untold truths about marriage, says youth minister

Pope Francis smiles to an engaged couple, during a special audience to celebrate Saint Valentine's day, in Saint Peter's square at the Vatican.Reuters

Marriage is not for everyone—that is one of three truths about marriage that the Church has not taught people about, according to Frank Powell, a youth minister and a Christian writer at

Powell said God does not intend for every man or woman to marry. "Maybe it is time for God's people to accept the reality.

"God has not called everyone to marry," he said. "I talk with young men and women who are consumed with finding a spouse. And most of the pressure comes from the church. Once a person reaches mid-twenties, we assume they have a fatal flaw if they aren't married," he said.

Powell underscored that it is possible to follow Christ even without going through the sacrament of marriage.

"I am worried many failed marriages are the result of Christians pressuring people into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse," he said.

Powell said this "truth" is one of the teachings that the Church apparently missed and will only be learned in marriage.

The second truth about marriage that is not taught in church, Powell said, is the truth that a spouse will not complete a person since only God can do so.

"You can't experience joy in your marriage if your spouse's job is to complete you," he said.

"If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems...buckle up. Marriage will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse's job is to complete you," Powell said.

The third truth about marriage not taught in the church, Powell said, is the truth that there is not just one person for everyone.

"Soul mates are made...not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person," he said.

Powell asked: "What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours? What if God wants to teach you the value found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?"