'I am so deeply sorry,' says Brian Houston

Brian Houston onstage at Hillsong with his wife Bobbie Hillsong

Hillsong founder Brian Houston has apologized to members of the Church after resigning over alleged indiscretions.

In an email to church members obtained by Eternity, Hillsong's former Global Senior Pastor said he was "so deeply sorry" for his failings and that there was "no one to blame but myself for the position I find myself in".

"To those impacted directly by my actions, I am sorry for the pain I have caused you," he wrote. 

Houston stepped down after investigations by the Hillsong Global Board into two complaints, one alleging that he had entered the hotel room of a woman who was not his wife while under the influence of alcohol, and another alleging that "inappropriate" text messages were sent to a Hillsong staffer. The Global Board concluded that Houston had broken the Pastor's Code of Conduct.

Following his resignation, three churches in the US announced they were parting ways with Hillsong.

Addressing church members, Houston said that he had "let you down so badly and sorry will never be enough to express my sorrow".

Houston also expressed his regret over the pain caused to family members.

"To my wonderful, forgiving and gracious family who I love more than anything, I hate hurting you," he said.

"Bobbie, in my eyes you are the most Christ-like, beautiful, loyal and faithful person alive today.

"It crushes me to see your heart breaking as we navigate this season, letting go of so much that is precious to you. I love my family and it pains me deeply to see you navigating these waters." 

Houston founded Hillsong Church together with Bobbie in Sydney, Australia, nearly 40 years ago. He said his resignation was "not the way I imagined it to end" and that he was "determined that my mistakes will not define me".

In his apology letter, Houston also said he was committed to resolving his issues with alcohol. 

"Over many years of constant pressure, opposition, challenges, and attacks, accompanied by my personal turmoil over my father's evil, many people have asked – 'How do you continue to get up, cope, and keep going?' And now we know the answer. I haven't coped very well at all," he said.

"I openly admit that alcohol has been no friend and I am determined to relegate it to my past." 

He continued, "Please be assured, I accept full responsibility for my actions and I have no one to blame but myself for the position I find myself in.

"It may be some time before we see light at the end of this tunnel, but I know God has not finished with us yet." 

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