Christian couples, behave yourselves on Facebook!
Social media is the first place many of us turn to share the good, bad and ugly parts of our daily lives, but it's fair to say that many people do not have the etiquette down, especially when it comes to relationships. With tongue firmly-in-cheek, here are the seven deadly sins I think are most often committed by Couples of Facebook.
1. Awkward engagement shoots
This is, I think, a fairly new invention, and frankly absolutely baffling. I'm all for having a nice photo of yourselves for your mum's mantelpiece, but do you really need to be hoisted halfway up a tree for it?* I realise that a shoot centring on your actual Saturday activities (watching Netflix and avoiding piles of wedmin) might not be so photogenic, but really. No one believes you hang out in fields of wheat on your days off.
*If you can name one time you have genuinely sat on either end of a park bench eating matching novelty lollipops, or lain in the grass surrounded by artfully placed autumnal leaves, I'll let you off.
2. Photos of your wedding bed
This is a classic. The petals arranged in a heart shape were no doubt a treat to walk in to, but it is a Totally Unnecessary Overshare. Obviously you've been looking forward to this moment, but it's really not something we all needed a visual of. The same goes for pictures of your wedding dresses draped elegantly over a chair the night of your nuptials, which will inevitably receive a 'like' from your grandma.
3. Oversharing statuses
Talking of overshares, incessant statuses about your smokin' hot wife (or, actually, about anything at all really) are awful. The internet is good for cat videos and Taylor Swift. It is not good for waxing lyrical about your other half, even if it really *is* your three and a half week anniversary. Consider saving up all those compliments and writing them in a card.
4. Cringey photos
You know the ones. Your hands intertwined on the beach, the kissing-selfie (be honest, how many times did it take to get that angle right?) and probably the worst offender of all, the marital-bed snog.
5. Shared accounts
JonnyandJenny Jones, we're looking at you. In a totally unnecessary display of online intimacy, some couples really do set up joint Facebook accounts once they're married. To be clear, this is acceptable – nay, encouraged – if you're over 75 because it's really cute. Otherwise, perhaps consider dealing with your trust issues somewhere else.
6. Passive aggressive breakups
Hell hath no fury like a Christian scorned, the saying goes (or close enough). And no matter what your theology on life-after-death, there is something really stomach churning about couples who break up, and then post passive-aggressive statuses for the next few weeks. That includes the overuse of Christian dating memes, 'hilarious' references to Joshua Harris, or endless my-life-is-fabulous-now-I'm-single selfies.
7. Posting above all other forms of communication
We've definitely all been guilty of this at one time or another; writing on someone's Facebook wall when picking up the phone or sending a text would have sufficed. But it's made even more infuriating when the recipient is sitting three feet away on the other end of the sofa. If you'd like to show your other half a funny video, maybe just – you know – show them?